Page 85 of Silver Fox's Christmas Scandal
And if I told Lucian right now, he'd be happy for me, but he was so impulsive. He'd say or do something that would jeopardize his job even further.
He stopped pacing and turned toward his desk, finding the button to shutter the blinds of his office. Then he walked over to me with a stormy look on his face and cupped my cheeks, pressing his lips to mine in a hungry kiss.
I pressed on his chest, forcing him back before Daniel decided to return and find us like that.
But it frustrated him. He stopped kissing me but didn't move his hands.
"This is insane," he muttered, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. "Twenty years I've built this company, and she thinks she can destroy it over petty jealousy." He tried to kiss me, as if my lips were his medicine and without them, he would fade away.
I pulled back, my hands pressing against his chest. "Lucian, stop."
He released me immediately, stepping back with confusion clouding his features. "What's wrong?"
"We can't do this here." I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly cold to my core. "Daniel just threatened both our jobs. Your ex-wife has photos of us. And you want to make out in your office where anyone could walk in?"
His jaw tightened, but I saw understanding dawn in his eyes. "You're right. I'm sorry, I just…" He turned away, gripping the back of his desk chair with white knuckles. "I feel out of control. Everything I've worked for is falling apart, and I can't seem to stop it."
The vulnerability in his voice made my chest ache. He was unraveling in front of me, and I was part of the reason. The guilt was overwhelming.
He backed away then, but he was still cagey.
Somewhere in my heart, I knew things had gotten too complicated and that allowing Lucian to dictate how I would conceive had been a major catalyst for that. I didn't regret the fact that I was carrying his child, but I did wish I'd have put my foot down.
In hindsight, I realized how horrible of a choice that was. I knew it was going to get leaked at some point and when it did, I'd never work in the financial sector again.
And worse, Lucian's life would get Chernobyled by Viktoria.
"What are we going to do?" I asked quietly. My insides shook a little, but I tried to keep it from showing.
It was an anxiety attack worse than any I'd had in years. Ironic how that was what started this whole thing to begin with—my nerves in that elevator.
"I don't know." He looked at me with a pained expression. "But I won't let them destroy you because of me. Whatever happens, I'll make sure you're protected."
The promise made the secret burning inside me feel heavier.
How could I tell him about the baby now?
How could I add that burden to everything else he was carrying?
If he found out, it would make him be irrational again, the way he was when he demanded that we do things the "old-fashioned" way. And I had no idea what that new eruption would look like.
"You mentioned wanting to talk to me about something," he said, settling into his chair with weary exhaustion. "What was it?"
The lie came easily, too easily. "My mom wanted to meet you. She kept asking questions about my personal life, wondering if there was someone special." I forced a casual shrug. "I thought maybe we could arrange something, but given the circumstances…"
He studied my face intently, and I had the unsettling feeling he could see straight through my deception.
Lucian had always been perceptive, able to read people and situations with uncanny accuracy.
I hated lying to him, but now was truly neither the time nor the place to reveal that I was pregnant. That conversation deserved a day of its own.
"That's all?" he asked.
"That's all."
But the way his eyes narrowed told me he didn't believe it. His stare was unnerving and I felt like I was one of his children being scolded, not the woman he'd inseminated and would likely want to have sex with again.
I wanted to confess everything—the pregnancy, my growing feelings for him, my terror that he'd regret our arrangement once the scandal destroyed his relationship with his children or cost him his business.
