But all I could imagine was how destroyed Tessa would be when the board called her in and dragged her through the mud because I was a failure at relationships.
Viktoria couldn't care less about preserving our children’s futures. She just wanted to hurt me. And she was hurting the woman I loved now more than anything. And I couldn't let her keep doing it.
I had to stop her before she made things worse, because I hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell Tessa what I really felt.
And I doubted that would go over well in hind sight. Tessa deserved better than that, and she deserved someone to fight for her better than I had for my previous relationships.
It was high time I became the man I knew I could be.
21
TESSA
The whispers followed me everywhere now.
I caught them in the break room when I walked in for coffee—voices that died the moment I showed my face.
I noticed them in the elevator, colleagues who suddenly found their phones fascinating when I stepped inside.
They lingered in the margins of every meeting, every hallway conversation, every glance that lasted a beat too long.
My apartment became my sanctuary, the only place where I could drop the mask and acknowledge how much everything hurt.
And even when we were alone in a hotel room trying to make my dream of being a mother come true, I couldn’t take the mask off. I'd learned a while ago that Lucian was fiercely protective of what he wanted.
I couldn’t let him snap at someone in my defense and cost himself more pain or pressure. The board had only barely let up, and even then, they were still pressuring us both.
But even at home, I couldn't escape the anxiety. It followed me around, crept into my dreams, made me replay every interaction at work until my chest felt tight and my hands shook.
I found myself dissecting conversations with coworkers, analyzing their expressions, wondering if I'd imagined the hostility or if it really was getting worse.
The nights were the hardest. I'd lie in bed staring at the ceiling, Mochi purring against my side, while my mind churned through the same questions over and over.
Work had become a minefield, and any time I had to go into Lucian's office, I got scared someone would make a comment about me.
The worst part was that no one had any proof at all, and all of this was based on some suspicion one of Lucian's children fed to his ex-wife.
The reason I had the anxiety was because it was all true, and if anyone found out, I would be fired.
My phone rang as I sat curled on my couch that evening, a mug of tea growing cold in my hands.
I'd been waiting, hoping Lucian would call me to meet him after his week-long trip, but the chances were slim.
He was probably exhausted after his flight and too tense to sit and listen to me crying about workplace politics.
But it wasn't him at all. Mom's name flashed across the screen, and I wished I could ignore it.
She hadn't called in a few days, mostly because my lies about "Mr. Right" had finally settled her need to nag me, but I felt guilty like normal.
I wasn't the model child and that was a shadow that would follow me around the rest of my life.
"Tessie, honey, how are you?" Her voice carried the familiar warmth I'd grown up with, tinged with the slight drawl she'd picked up since moving to Florida.
"I'm good, Mom. How are you handling the heat?"
"Oh, you know how it is down here. Frank keeps the air conditioning so cold I need a sweater indoors, but the momentyou step outside, it hits you. We had another storm yesterday that knocked out power for six hours. I missed the A/C. I thought I was going to melt into a puddle right there on the kitchen floor."
I found myself smiling despite everything. "That sounds miserable."