Page 86 of Level Up
“Relationships. Communicating.Sexy stuff, as you would say.”
“Oh my god.” I cover my face in embarrassment, though hiding like that doesn’t help over the phone. “Also, are you telling me you’re bad at…that stuff?”
“Not, like, the mechanics of it,” he says, and somehow the wordmechanicsis making my face flush even harder, “but the social part. Again, I need BioWare-style dialogue options.”
I snort a laugh at that. “Yesterday I was thinking that I wish I could use console commands to just move the romance quest forward.”
He laughs at that as well. “Yeah, but the awkward fumbling is part of the fun, isn’t it? Fumbling through life, I mean.”
“Oh, I thought you meant the other kind of awkward fumbling,” I say jokingly. Well, half-jokingly.
“That, too.” His laugh this time is barely more than an exhale. “Can we just…agree that either of us can say whatever we’re thinking, without judgment? Instead of worrying about saying the wrong thing all the time.”
“You worry about that?”
“Constantly.”
“Okay. Yeah. That sounds good.”
“Cool. You go first,” he says. “Tell me why you wanted to talk on the phone tonight.”
“I…wanted to talk about last night,” I tell him, which is part of the truth. “And we cleared that up, so I’m fine now.”
“Okay…” He sounds unconvinced. “So why did you suggest we should talk in our beds?” The covers are rustling again.
“Um.” I pick harder at the edge of the desk. “I thought this would be…cozy.”
A derisive snort. “I can tell you’re still at your desk because I can hear you picking the laminate like you do when you’re nervous.”
“Okay, well, I’m scared,” I admit.
“Of being cozy?”
“Yes,” I say stiffly. “I’ve never…gotten cozywith another person present, in person or otherwise.”
“I see.”
“I mean—” I pinch the bridge of my nose with a sigh. “I’ve had sex,” I say flatly, already tired of euphemisms. “I just haven’t personally…gotten off when I’m with someone.”
“We don’t have to,” he replies, and he doesn’t sound put out or annoyed. “We can just talk. I like talking to you.”
“I… Can I tell you something?” I say, lowering my voice even though there’s no one else around to hear me.
“Anything.”
“I got turned on when you said you were good at themechanicsof…that stuff.”
“I think I just said I’mnot bad?—”
“Still, it’s such a nerdy thing to get turned on by.”
“I’m cool with that,” he says, and I laugh, momentarily forgetting that this conversation is mortifying.
“Honestly, the thing that freaks me out the most is that Idon’t know what’s gonna do it for me,” I tell him. “I don’t know until it happens. Because, before now, nothing did.”
“That’s okay. We can just…figure it out together, right?”
“What if it takes a long time?”
