Page 33 of Level Up
“Yeah, we just play our own games and chat at the same time,” I explain. “And today I went over and we took turns with his N64. Though we were able to playSuper Smash Brostogether, which was fun.”
Mom frowns at me. “How old is this guy?”
“I dunno.” Maybe that’s something I should know. “Twenty-something? Ish?”
“I just don’t know who would still have anN64?—”
“It’s refurbished. It’s like a vintage thing.”
“Vintage?” Mom clasps a hand to her chest like she’shaving an overdramatic heart attack. “Are the late 90svintagenow?”
I shrug my eyebrows, which she can tell meansyes.
She sighs and holds her hands together in front of her. “I pray that one day you will know this pain.”
“Thank you.”
“Just wait ’til you’re my age,” Gram says, pointing at Mom with her chopsticks. “Everything you like will beinagain and hipsters will love you.”
“Hipsters are old now too, Gram,” I tell her, and she looks over at me like I just shot her, her eyes appearing extra wide behind her thick glasses, with her bright turquoise eye shadow that matches the polka dots on her blouse.
“Why do you insist on hurting us?” she deadpans.
“Speaking of ungrateful children,” Mom adds, turning her attention back to me as well, “have you heard from your sister recently?”
I frown at her. “Why would I have heard from Marie?”
Mom shrugs and picks up her glass of wine. “Usually she lets us know if she’s coming back for Thanksgiving and I haven’t heard from her yet. So I thought maybe she’d told you.”
“Thanksgiving isn’t for two weeks.”
“I know, but…” She takes a sip and sets down her glass. She’s clearly not telling me something, but I know she’ll crack before I even have to ask. “Last I heard, she and Josh were having some troubles, but she hasn’t said anything about it in over a month now and I’m wondering whether we should be expecting both of them or?—”
“Why don’t you just ask her?” I take another sip of wine, trying not to grimace as I do.
“I don’t want to seem nosy,” she says, and I nearly do a spit-take.
“Since when?” I ask with a laugh once I successfully swallow.
“You think I’mnosy?” She looks more amused than offended. “I’ve hardly asked you anything about your newhe-friend.”
“Please don’t call him that.” I rub my temples. “And you basically asked if we were having sex, which is completely inappropriate and way off-base.”
“Well, you never tell me if you’re seeing someone?—”
“Because I’m never seeing anyone!”
Admittedly, I never told my family about the wholeasexualitything, partly because I didn’t want to have to explain it to them when I could barely explain it to myself. Especially given the fact that Mom knew I’d dated Shawn—I didn’t want her to think I was stupid or wrong or confused. Even though I was probably all of those things.
“That’s a shame,” Gram says, though there are fettuccine noodles hanging from her mouth as she speaks and it makes me think of an Ood fromDoctor Who.
“Why is that a shame, Gram?” I say with a sigh.
Gram finishes chewing and takes a swig from her wine glass before answering, still holding the glass up. “While I think it’s important for every woman to know how to give herself great orgasms?—”
“Jesus.”
“—it’s nice to have someone else do the grunt work once in a while.”
