Page 23 of Level Up
“What? What was that for?”
“Yesterday this guy was your nemesis and now you’re…friends?”
“Nemesisis a bit of an exaggeration,” I say, although I do see her point. “Maybe I misjudged him.”
“Or: he was perfectly fine with being a dick to you,” Pal says, waving their hand through the air, “until he met you and realized that you’re hot, and now he wants to be ‘friends’. Uh-huh.”
My face heats with embarrassment. “I’m…not hot.”
“Well, like, in a nerdy way,” they add, spinning in the chair some more. “Either way, Glasses is into it.” They stop spinning and point at Victory. “I’m right, right?”
Victory looks like she doesn’t know what to think. And neither do I.
“That doesn’t make sense,” I finally say, shakingmy head. “He knew what I looked like. He’d even seen me in person before last night, and he was still being a dick online—or, I don’t even know if that’s what he was doing. He’s never seemed like a dick before, so I may have misinterpreted things.”
“Could be,” Pal says with a shrug.
“So,arewe friends now?” I ask, and Victory gives me a concerned look.
“I think that’s up to you, Audrey,” she says. “Is that even what you want?” The way she’s looking at me makes me feel like this isn’t just about Damien.
Victory never met Cameron, but I told her all about my childhood best friend. She knows the whole story—well, most of it, anyway. She knows how people used to tease us, say that I was hisgirlfriend, just to piss him off. And boy, did it sure piss him off. I would always just laugh it off; I didn’t even want to be anyone’s girlfriend. Until I did.
And, yeah, letting him know that was a mistake. It was awkward and painful, and I lost my best friend. My last year of high school, not only was I a loser but I was also a loner.
Looking back, of course, I can see that he was kind of a shitty friend all along. He didn’t stand up for me when people picked on me, and there was an entire year where he would only hang out with me outside of school. I thought that was normal, but after meeting Victory in university, I learned what it’s like to have a real friend.
So, yeah, I see it. Now there’s another guy who wouldn’t stand up when people picked on me. A guy who will only talk to me when no one else is around. A guy I still want to talk to anyway, despite all of that.
But if I look at the Scones that Iknow—the one from his streams, the one I talked to for hours last night—I know it’s not the same at all. Even if the Scones that I imagined for aweek was a bit of a dick, he’s never done anything to give that impression before.
“He’s not Cameron,” I say to her quietly. She frowns but I can tell that it’s what she was thinking.
“Who’s Cameron?” Pal asks, somewhat disinterestedly, as they clack away at my keyboard, pretending to type.
I expect Victory to jump in and tell the whole story, but she just gives me a small nod, like it’s up to me to decide how much to share. I squeeze her hand in thanks.
“Just an old friend from school,” I say. “Who only wanted to be my friend when it was convenient to him and then stopped once I became inconvenient.”
“Oof,” Pal says. “Been there.”
I smile at that. Knowing that Pal has experienced that kind of rejection makes me feel a little better, like maybe one day I could be as confident as them or Victory, like rejection won’t define me forever.
There is one thing Pal is wrong about, though. Damien definitely doesn’t think I’m…hot in a nerdy way, or whatever. He’s not interested in me like that—he has agirlfriend—and I’m glad for it. Having been on both sides, I know it’s always awkward when these things are one-sided.
And it’s not likeIcould be interested inhim. Notreally.
That’s not why I had fun chatting with him last night, or why I spend Thursday morning just waiting for Victory and Pal to leave so I can get back to my game—and more chatting. It’s not why, when I finally get a moment to myself some time after eleven, I immediately boot up my computer and log in to my Play’N account.
The message is already waiting for me when I open the chat.
SconesOfAyor:
Let me know when you’re going to play again, I want to finish the tutorial level today
The implication that he’s been waiting for me—that he wants to finish the tutorial levelwith me—delights me more than it should.
But that doesn’t mean I’minterested.
