Page 13 of Level Up
I still don’t know where I land on the ace-spectrum, but I am definitely not aromantic. I adore romance. I love to read about it and watch movies about it and the first thing I look up about any new video game is which characters I can romance. I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me.
Because what are the chances that the person you haveromanticfeelings for will have them back? In my experience, highly improbable, one way or the other. Victory and Pal are the exception, not the rule.
At least when it comes to people like me. As much as I tried, I just didn’t have the feelings for Shawn that I was supposed to have. By all accounts, he was a great boyfriend. And helikedme—which was more than I could say for Cameron. I thought it was the best I could hope for.
It was better than the alternative: admitting my feelings for my best friend of over a decade only to have him ignore me for the rest of high school.
Dating Shawn was easier thanthat. And it’s not as though Idislikedhim. I probably would have been fine just going through the motions indefinitely if he hadn’t dumped me for—surprise, surprise—being terrible in bed. He said itwas clear I wasn’t into him, and I couldn’t even argue with that.
So, no, as much as I love the idea of being in love, I just don’t think it’s in the cards for someone like me. And I’m fine with that. I’m happy to see my friends find that sort of thing.
Just sometimes—onlysometimes—I feel like I’m missing out.
Hadley
I’m guessing you’re new around here.
You
How could you tell?
It’s my first time in the city, but I think it’s great so far.
Actually, I was born in this very bar.
Enough with your posturing and tell me what happened to the Stone.
Hadley
You’ve got that look about you. Bright-eyed, like the world hasn’t yet chewed you up and spit you out.
Let me give you a heads up, all right? People ‘round here don’t take too kindly to sell-swords.
But as it turns out, I’m the best sell-sword in Ayor’s Rest. And incidentally, I’m available. For a very reasonable price.
Name’s Hadley.
— First time meeting Hadley inThe Stones of Ayor 3
five
cultivating a toxic environment
