Page 1 of Level Up
one
his stupid, weird mouth
Every young womanremembers her first time.
Mine: I was sixteen. It was a blustery cold Friday, mid-November 2014—I’d have to check my logs for the exact date, but I’m painting a picture here—and I was home from school because it was a P.A. Day. My mom and grandma were both working in the shop at the front of the house—this was back when it was still my grandmother’s shop. And my sister Marie, of course, hadn’t lived here for years.
I was unsupervised and ready to get into some trouble with my childhood best friend, Cameron.
Later, I would tell my mom that nothing happened, that it wasn’t a big deal, that there was nothing to worry about. What I wouldn’t tell her, though, is how my life changed forever that day.
All because my at-the-time best friend introduced me to a little game calledThe Stones of Ayor 3.
It was my first time playing an action/adventure RPG. I was hooked. So much so that I barely left my computer desk for the next six weeks; I’m pretty sure Christmas stillhappened, but I couldn’t give you any details. I’m just going on precedent for that one.
Nearly a decade later,The Stones of Ayor 3is still my favourite video game of all time, and the fourth game in the series is coming out in—holy shit: five days.
Five more days and I get to experience my first time all over again. And I won’t let anything stop me from enjoying that. Certainly not stupid fucking Scones.
God, I hate Scones.
“These are muffins,” Victory says around a mouthful of one such muffin after I express my discontent to her at Green Bean Coffee—our favourite little café in Toronto, near Kensington Market—on a Saturday afternoon.
It’s our usual thing, getting together for coffee once a week to catch up when life gets too busy for more than that. And while my life is blissfully dull as ever—aside from my blossoming, all-consuming hatred for a certainStones of Ayorstreamer—my BFF has been quite busy.
Victory has barely been able to take a break for weeks now, with all the commissions she’s been getting for murals and window art for local businesses and events. I’m incredibly proud of her but also incredibly sad that I can’t hog her all to myself anymore.
“I mean the dude,” I tell her, unable to quell the rage boiling in my veins every time I think about him. “SconesOfAyor, the guy who streamsStones 3all the time.”
“Right.” Victory nods like she only vaguely knows what I’m talking about. “The guy with no face.”
I take a bite out of my own muffin but I don’t finish chewing before I reply. “He has a face. But it’s never fully on camera.” I finally swallow. “You only ever see his chin, or sometimes his mouth. It’s really weird.”
“His mouth is weird?”
“No, his mouth is—” Okay, I’m not going to admit thatI’ve given thought to what his mouth is like. “The hiding thing. It’s weird.”
“Maybe he likes his privacy.” Victory sweeps her waist-length, bubblegum pink twists over her shoulder. I don’t think she means to look glamorous as she does it—she has sensory issues, and her hair was probably touching her leg—but she always manages to look glamorous anyway. “Didn’t you say he has, like, a hundred thousand subscribers?”
Two-hundred-and-fifty-seven thousand, actually. But she doesn’t need to know that.
My expression flattens as I take a long sip of my cold brew through a soggy paper straw. (Victory would say it’s too late in the year to still be drinking iced beverages, but hot coffee is disgusting. Andno coffeeis even worse.) “I showed you what people were saying about me, right?”
“Yeah, they think you faked your, uh…speedquest?"
“Speedrun. And yes.” I take another grumpy sip. “Some people even said that I must have paid someone else to speedrun the game for me and then used the footage to pretend that I was playing it myself. Which sounds like way more effort than just playing it myself!”
“Because your time was better than his?”
“Barely! And neither of us is ranking on any lists, by the way.” I slurp the rest of my coffee loudly, but I continue speaking before Victory has a chance to reply. “Okay, yeah, so maybe I’ve never really played this sort of game on my channel before. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t put thousands of hours into it. I don’t just playCloud QuestandLaundromateall the time.”
Her eyes light up. “Oh, I loveCloud Quest!”
“I know, it’s awesome, but not the point.”
“Right, sorry.” Her expression turns pensive and she taps the sides of her coffee mug with short, brightly painted fingernails. “Wait, so this Scones guy, he accused youof cheating?”
“Well… No. But he basically says he agrees,” I tell her as I squish the straw between my fingers to vent my frustration. “Not, like, with his words, but with hissilence.”
