Page 44 of Learn Your Limits
Leaving meant returning to normal, and after having him all to myself—completely out in the open and carefree—I fuckinghatewhat our normal looks like.
Getting to fall asleep and wake up in his arms are memories that I’ll be clinging to over the next few weeks. Especially considering now that we’re back on campus, I’m supposed tobe pretending to have a girlfriend. Milo and I discussed the ridiculous idea on the way home from our weekend away. Even though neither one of us are actually thrilled by the need to do this, it makes sense.
At least where my parents are concerned. And if it helps protect his job by diminishing any suspicion, then it'll be worth the hassle.
I texted Avalon on the drive back, and she agreed that faking it with me would appease her parents and help take some stress off her own relationship. I felt more comfortable talking to her while Milo was there, but there was still an ache in my chest as we worked out all of the details.
Now, as I'm laying in bedalone,my stomach feels tight with tension as pressure slowly builds behind my eyes. My body is still sore, clinging to the memory of what it was like to have him buried inside of me for the first time.
With a heavy sigh, I pull out my phone and tap open our conversation on the app.
CallMeCal:Is it too soon to say I miss you?
I rub a hand down my face, forcing away the emotion threatening to spill over as I rest my other hand on my chest, fingers still wrapped around my phone. When I finally drift off, it's to thoughts of him; Of the way he looks at me when he calls meMuñeco, the way his brows pinch ever so slightly while he's reading, the way his hand felt resting on my thigh while we drove, and the way my mind and body feel fully at ease around him.
Emiliano Cervantes has become the most important person in my life in such a short period of time. And pretending he's nothing more than my Cognitive Psychology professor is going to tear me apart.
While I’d much rather spend my morning curled up in bed beside Milo, I have to admit that waking up to find a message from him first thing in the morning might be one of my favorite things.
JustMilo:Is it too early in the morning to say I miss you too?
His message sends a jolt of energy coursing through my body as I climb out of bed, making quick work of showering and getting ready for the day. After throwing on a pair of fitted black jeans, a white t-shirt, a black and teal flannel, and my black Vans, I grab my sketchbook and the new pack of artist pencils Milo bought me and throw them into my bag.
With any luck, I’ll get to class just early enough to catch him alone before anyone else shows up. And if I have to wait for him, I’ll at least have my sketchbook to keep me busy so that I’m not pacing the hallway.
Sure enough, I manage to make it to the lecture hall before Milo, and the idea of surprising him has butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I take a seat in the middle of the third row—the same place I’ve been sitting all semester—and dig out my sketchbook to work on the piece that I started while at the cabin. It’s all too easy to become absorbed in what I’m doing when the man who has managed to capture my heart has also become my muse. Drawing Emiliano from memory isn’t as hard as I thought it would be, not when his handsome face is all I see when I close my eyes.
There’s fifteen minutes before class starts when I hear the creek from doors near the podium. I don’t need to turn to know it’s Milo walking in, but I look up from my drawing of him totake in the real thing. He’s in slate dress pants and a white long-sleeve button-up shirt that just barely hides the tattoos covering his chest. His reading glasses are on today, hanging off the tip of his nose before he adjusts them and stares right at me. “Hi, Reid.”
His voice sends a wave of heat blazing over my skin as I lean back in my seat, willing my body to remain calm. “Good morning, Professor.” The corner of my lips pulls up into a slight smile as I take him in, deciding I definitely need to add his glasses to the drawing.
“Would have been a better morning if I hadn’t lost my contacts on vacation.” Milo shoots me one of his private smiles while he sets down his messenger bag. He must have noticed me paying special attention to his glasses, then.
“I don’t know, I think you’re pretty hot in glasses,” I say, fighting back the blush threatening to cover my cheeks.Because apparently that’s something I do now, thanks to him.Tearing my gaze away from him, I shift in my seat as I struggle to focus back on my art. I still need to perfect all of the finer details, but there’s no mistaking it’shimthat I’m drawing.
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Mr. Callahan.”
Other students begin to filter into the lecture hall before I have a chance to say anything more, and I quickly close my sketchbook and put it away. The last thing either of us needs right now is for someone to see my drawings of him, because yes, there’s more than one. Most of them are done in bits and pieces and aren’t complete portraits. However, the one I’m working on now is. I’m doing my best to not leave out any detail, and it would be hard to come up with a lie that would explain how and why I’m able to capture him so accurately.
Milo, being the professional that he is, falls perfectly into his job and doesn’t seem to have any trouble returning to normal. He gives the rest of the class his undivided attention, and it sortof feels like he’s purposely avoiding looking directly at me. Like if he did, he’d lose his composure and forget about everyone else in the room the way I’m silently begging him to.
The hour seems to drag by, and I don’t know how much of the lecture I actually managed to pay attention to. It’s unlike me to lose focus, but paying attention to the lesson isn’t exactly easy when I know what it feels like to be inside of him... And what it’s like to have him inside of me.
How can I possibly pay attention to anything else when the mere sight of him has memories of our weekend together flooding my mind?
“Mr. Callahan, a word please.” Milo’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up to find everyone making their way out of the lecture hall. A quick glance at my phone tells me that class is over.
I wait until everyone else has left before I grab my bag and throw it over my shoulder, making my way down the few steps toward the podium where Milo is standing.
“Was my teaching not to your liking today?” he asks, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.
The sudden question stops me before I can get to the last step, nerves twisting in my stomach as my eyes fall to the floor. “Am I in trouble, Professor?” I murmur, hesitant to meet his gaze.
I can’t tell if he’s actually upset or if he’s just messing with me. I don’t think I have it in me to tell him that I spent the entire class thinking of everything we’ve done together, and everything I still want to do with him.
It’s not his fault I was distracted.
“I would take your inattentiveness as a personal slight if I didn’t already know what thoughts ran through your mind.” His voice sounds closer with every word, but I still don’t look up at him. It’s only when I feel his fingers under my chin that I tilt myhead to meet his gaze. “This cannot work if you’re losing focus on school. I won’t be the cause of that.”
