Page 7 of Learn Your Limits
JustMilo:I’m having a hard time fighting the temptation to palm myself as I text you, but I’m going to ask that you keep your hands off your cock, Cal.
JustMilo:There is no reason for you to listen to me, but I’d like to think that you would. That you’d be a good boy for me.
JustMilo:Trust me, I want you too, but you are too fascinating to me to have this be nothing more than a mutual masturbation session.
JustMilo:So, while we both have hard-ons... I’d like you to tell me about what you did today.
I know he’s new. Whether that means he’s just new to dating apps or being with men in general, I am going to tread lightly with him.
CallMeCal:Fuck. Fine, I’ll be good. But only because I know you’re struggling just as much as I am.
CallMeCal:There’s no way that what I did today is more interesting than the direction our conversation was headed, but okay, I’ll bite.
CallMeCal:Today was fairly uneventful. I finalized my schedule for the upcoming semester, hung out with my roommates for a bit, and honestly, spent most of the day working on this...
CallMeCal:[attached image]
I bite at the thumb of my free hand absentmindedly as I hear the notifications of incoming messages. As I read through them, Cal’s first message has me grinning ear to ear. It seems there’s a bit of a feistier side to him, and I can’t wait to explore it.
Well, specifically,tameit.
I don’t consider myself an expert in art, but I’m confident in saying what Cal sent me is hauntingly gorgeous. It reminds me of something one might find at a tattoo shop—black and white with shading to contrast the images within the picture. There’s a skeletal hand wrapped in all sorts of vines and flowers holding a pocket watch. The psychologist in me would love to attempt a deep dive into what sort of meaning might be behind such a piece, but I usually don’t like to analyze friends and family.
Not to say I’d let Cal just be my friend if he chooses to explore things with me. It might be a little insane to think of him as mine already, but a primal part of me is already staking a claim.
I type out some quick responses to him, carefully avoiding a complete sexualization of the conversation but also knowing a bit of flirting won’t hurt.
JustMilo:Where is the shy young man who messaged me earlier tonight, and who is this little brat? Did you plan on deceiving me this whole time?
JustMilo:I’m interested in your day just as much as I am interested in your cock, Cal.
JustMilo:It’s a beautiful drawing. I’m not an artist myself, but I can appreciate something lovely when I see it. Is Art your major?
Chapter seven
Reid
I think I might have messed up. I mean, it’s not entirely my fault. I panicked. I let myself be vulnerable with someone new, and my body entered into fight-or-flight mode. As soon as I sent Milo a picture of my sketch last night, all of the tell-tale signs started to make themselves known.
Sweaty palms, pounding heart, shortness of breath. I had opened myself up, and my body was rebelling against me because of it. I swore I wouldn’t leave him onread, but that’s exactly what I did. In my defense, he asked me not to touch myself, only to then tell me that he was just as interested in my day as he was my cock. There was no way I was going to be able to control my hands after that. But I also wasn’t going to lie to him and pretend to be good when I’d knowingly disobeyed him.
Disobeyed him?
I don’t know where that thought came from. He’s not my keeper. I don’t even know him. Not really. But I want to. Which means I’ve messed up. He’s not going to forgive me. He’s going to think I was just some “young thing” as he put it. That I wasjust messing with him for fun. That I’m not actually interested in him.
But fuck if that isn’t so far from the truth.
What are the odds that he’ll see my messages now and we can just pretend that I didn’t have a moment of weakness and freak out?
It’s only noon, and we were up kind of late. With classes starting soon, I would imagine he’s trying to enjoy these last few days as much as he can, before the stress of the school year begins. I don’t know what I’ll do if he really is upset with me. I will have no choice but to respect his wishes if he decides he’s not interested in pursuing anything between us.
What I do know for certain is that I will need to be the one to break the silence. He’s not going to reach out to me after the way I ghosted him.
I need to find a way to slip away from everyone so I can have a moment to myself. I don’t need anyone here trying to lean over my shoulder and invade a private conversation.
As if on cue, Matt leaps up from the couch beside me. “Ah man! What the hell was that? Did you see that shit?” he yells, waving a hand at the television as though we aren’t all watching the same game-play footage. He and Wes are both on the OU football team, and we’re currently hanging out at one of their teammates' homes while they all watch old footage in preparation for games to start back up. There are a few girls here and other guys who aren’t part of the team, so at least I’m not the only odd-man-out.
I wait until they’re all absorbed in watching the footage again before I peel myself from the couch and head out to the backyard to grab a bottle of water from the cooler.
