Page 58 of Allured
With his kindness and understanding, I already feel like those three words will be easy to confess. Soon.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ALEK
Cats and old ladies.
“So what are you gonna make with yourboyfriendtomorrow?” Emma asks beside me. Her arm is looped through mine as we walk around the farmer’s market. Thankfully, with the cooler season coming in, these places are popping up more often. Having a Friday off doesn’t happen a lot for us, so we’re taking advantage and having a movie night with Viv at their place later tonight.
The burlesque club was booked for a private event tonight hosted by a charity that Knight works with and the boys have got the performances all covered. It’s been nice giving up the reins a bit and training other people for lead positions. At one point it felt like I was spending so much time at the club I might as well live there. This is healthy. Exploring other passions, spending time enjoying myself, and having someone special is what I’ve needed.
“I was thinking of makingcaldowith him,” I respond, guiding her over to one of the farm stands so I can look throughall the seasonal vegetables. I thoughtcaldowould be a great dish because it involves a little of everything when it comes to kitchen skills.
“Oh shit, if y’all have any leftovers I call dibs.” Emma lets go of my arm and nudges me aside as she starts looking over the produce as well.
“Sorry, I couldn’t make it to dinner last weekend,” she comments while putting a few pieces of zucchini into her tote bag. “I wanted to but…” Emma pauses and purses her lips in thought. “Caleb and I got into a stupid—ass fight again.”
I didn’t like that. To be honest, I tolerated Caleb but these fights between them have grown more frequent and it’s worrying me.
“Emma,” I begin, but she sets her hand up to stop me.
“I know what you’re gonna say, Alek, and I’m telling you it was just a stupid fight. We have them and we get over them,” she breathes, steeling herself.
“Muñeca, you know I worry about you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about, I promise. I’d tell you if there was. You get the corn?” Emma is nothing if not stubborn and she deflects like no other.
“Yeah, I got the corn,” I sigh. I need to trust my best friend when she says she has it under control. She’s one of the toughest chicks I know. Still, I’m keeping an eye on that fucker Caleb either way.
I feel her arm link back with mine as we walk over to the cashier. Taking a moment to pay for the produce, I steal a peek at Emma. She’s stunning. Her sienna skin is glowing in the morning sunlight as she smiles and thanks the cashier for us. Mymuñecais wonderful and deserves someone who is crazy for her. I just wish she’d think the same.
It hits me then.
Why can’t I see myself in the same light as I see her and all of my loved ones? Is there something truly so broken within me that I don’t feel like I deserve the same, or am I the one getting in my own way?
I have a man who is genuine, kind, funny, and hot as fuck. A man who said he loved me and Ipanickedwhen I heard it. Ezekiel is not a liar. He may have his quirks and his specific way of doing or saying things but he would never toy with me like that. I know it now. It wasn’t panic fromhimsaying that he loved me. It was panic from thinking anyone could feel so deeply for me.
Ezekiel gave me time to think. He relieved any of the pressure I felt at that moment so I could reflect. Fuck, did he know I’d come to this conclusion? I swear to Christ that man is in my head somehow. Either that or I’m really easy to figure out.
Well, I’m saying it now. I am worthy. I deserve love.
I love Ezekiel.
Emma watches me with a large smile that reaches her eyes. She must have realized who I was thinking about. It wouldn’t surprise me if there was an actual damn lightbulb lighting up above my head right now.
“Go to him and take yourcaldostuff too.”
Taking the totes from her, I plant a quick kiss on her cheek before I start jogging over to my car.
“I amsogetting those leftovers, Alek!” Emma shouts after me.
Ezekiel’s place is a gorgeous brown brick house with black, almost gothic—looking accents. My first thought is how Viv would lose her mind over this place. His house is in one of thoseneighborhoods where the houses are spread out, and old enough that there isn’t an annoying homeowner’s association. At least that’s what I think because all of these houses seem like they were made to specification.
I sit in my car and keep looking around. While I didn’t fully think it through before starting the drive over here, I am glad I’m here. Ezekiel said he had virtual office hours today since he had to take care of stuff at home. So I hope I’m catching him at a good time.
Mental pep—talk done, I reach over to the passenger’s seat and grab my totes of produce for tomorrow’s date. Within a second, I’m out of the car and my feet are stepping on the bricked pathway leading up to his front door.
Stopping at the large black door with glass cutouts, I notice a little movement from behind a navy curtain covering the opening. A cute chunky cat pops their head out at me, clearly shouting at me from behind the glass but I can’t hear the meows through the barrier. To be safe, I ring the doorbell just in case Ez wasn’t already alerted by the yelling cat.
