Page 6 of Cruel Master
Neither worked. She’s still my first thought. Every day.
When she opens her eyes in her specially created prison, what will her first thought be?
“Hadrian?” Quinn’s voice, and from the anxious note, I’m guessing it’s not the first time she’s said my name. “Hello? Earth to Hadrian?”
“Sorry.” I reach behind the mask, undo the clasp with my thumbprint, and pull it free. Cool air soothes my sticky skin. “I was thinking. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted to come to bingo. Seb has his stupid poker night tonight, and Ophelia will be…busy.” She pulls a face. “They asked us to watch the puppy for a few hours, so we’re taking him to bingo so the old geezers can make a fuss of him.”
I almost say no. I’m so used to refusing social events it’s practically a reflex, but then I picture what the night will bring otherwise. Obsessively checking Juliet’s prison. Watching over my clones of her devices. And, though I hate to admit it even to myself, playing her game.
I’ve played the free-ranging game for so long that I know every hidden portion of the map. I’ve beaten every side quest and made the story play out in a thousand different ways. It’s like diving into a part of Juliet’s soul. The dark part she hid from me.
The more I picture the evening ahead, the more it depresses me until I find myself saying, “Sure. What time?”
I’ll hate myself later. But at least I’ll be hating myself somewhere other than my apartment.
***
The music is surprisingly loud, considering most of the crowd are over seventy. I’m sitting with Gabriel, Jacob, and Jacob’s grandad, who has joined us for a drink before he kicks off his bingo night in earnest. Quinn, Eve, and a couple more of their friends stand at the bar, chatting in a huddle.
As Quinn predicted, a steady stream of older Brothers and Wards stop at our table to fuss over the yappy little white pup. I take a sip of my beer and try not to glance at the clock. It’s always the same. When I’m home by myself, I convince myself I’m lonely. But then I get into a loud social situation, and all I can think about is sneaking back into my cave.
It hits me how few of the Brothers I know, apart from my current group. I really should make more of an effort. I scan the crowd idly as the conversation flows around me, and though I know some of the names, the crowd is mostly strangers.
Our table gets more than its fair share of looks, and while most are aimed at Jacob, a few turn my way. My success with Candice is common knowledge—Kendrick spoke about it in painful detail at the last Brotherhood dinner I attended. I try to avoid them like the plague, but he ambushed me and insisted I come to that one. It’s easy for me to forget how revolutionary Candice truly is.
Some of the glances aren’t friendly, which isn’t surprising. I’m not the only one here working in my field, and now I’m way ahead. The Compound is a competitive place, and Kendrick’s formal recognition has pulled me uncomfortably close to the spotlight.
One man, pale with a hooked nose and short blond hair, pastes on a fake smile and nods. He’s a little better at hiding his envy than I would be. I don’t care about awards or prizes, but being the first to create sentient electronic life? I can’t pretend I don’t care about that.
I know him, along with the others working in my niche field, but he’s not a friend. None of them are. We’re all cut from the same awkward, obsessive cloth. When I don’t smile and nod back, his facade crumbles and he gives me a dark look before downing his drink and walking out. I wish I could do the same.
Jacob, who is a few drinks in, claps me on the back. I’m surprised it doesn’t knock me over. I’m still not used to my extra muscle and the bulky solidity of my new frame.
Echoing my thoughts, Jacob says, “You’ve been hitting the gym hard, mate. Bulking up for your Ward?”
Yes, but not for the reasons he probably thinks. I need to feel different under Juliet’s hands, even once the mask comes off. There can’t be a single trace left of the man I was. I have to become someone hard and savage. The monster she’s always wanted.
“Yes. She arrives next week.”
Jacob’s grandad leaves to join a group of his friends, and Jacob glances at him before lowering his voice. “You all set? It’s daunting at first, the reality of having a captive. Harder than you think.”
Not encouraging. I’m imagining it to be very, very hard, indeed. Borderline impossible. I almost confide my worries, but it’s not the time or place. He’s here to have fun, not listen to me stress out. “Yes. All set.”
He nods and doesn’t ask any more questions.
Bingo starts, and I tick off the numbers absently as the crowd gets drunker. One day soon—in a few weeks, or a few months,however long it takes me to tame her—Juliet will be part of this strange little world that’s become my life.
Since I entered the Compound, I’ve only left twice, and both times, I wished I hadn’t bothered. Some Brothers, like Jacob, still maintain a strong external presence, but I don’t feel the need. My work was never about fame. The joy is in the work, not the accolades.
I have everything I need here, except for Juliet.
“Bingo!” It’s Eve, smiling with her hand raised. Gabriel kisses her, and they stand to collect her prize. I watch them, hand in hand, and deep longing paralyzes me.
I promised myself I wouldn’t look until I got home. But I can’t resist any longer.
Like a drug addict trying to quit, I restrict my own access to Juliet. If I let myself have free rein, I’d do nothing but stare at my phone, waiting for updates. I try to allow myself one hour a day to immerse myself in her, but sometimes I need an extra little hit. I slip my hand to my pocket and draw out my phone.
