Page 38 of Highland Slayer
Anaxandra had watched Mother Michael interact with Estevan. She had not seemed defensive or frightened or any of the other emotions that were supposed to stir in a woman’s soul when she was around a man. There was no hurt or fear. In fact, Mother Michael seemed to be quite tolerant of their presence and had even shown kindness to them, especially in the case of the sick knight. She seemed to show a good deal of concern for him.
That was most definitelynotwhat Mother Michael had been teaching all of these years.
Anaxandra had never had any reason to doubt the teachings of Mother Michael, as they were teachings that had come down from previous abbesses. It was all of the opinions of Lady Agnes Herries, a well-known man hater. Anaxandra had never considered that the standards by which they all lived to be a farce, but with the introduction of five polite men, it was possible that Lady Agnes had been wrong.
Anaxandra simply didn’t know what to think anymore.
One thing was for certain, however. As difficult as it was for her to even consider that everything she’d been taught was a lie, she suspected that she needed to apologize to Estevan after being so unfriendly with him in Dumfries. After he’d bought her an expensive gift, no less. The truth was that she didn’t know anything about the man who had bought her the gift. She didn’t know his heart or his character. But she did regret the incident in Dumfries.
She simply didn’t know how to tell him.
On this day, it was her turn to work with the children in the garden, making a late summer harvest of some of their vegetables. Members of her Bow Pack were working there as well. The foundlings—all eleven of them—were in the garden, pulling vegetables under the watchful eye of Sister Hildegarde, who was snapping at them one moment and praising them thenext. Anaxandra had to grin when the woman broke up a fight between two little brothers. She thought the woman was at her best when she was dealing with young children. Like she was a natural mother. Perhaps they were instincts, or perhaps learned behavior, but as Anaxandra watched Sister Hildegarde, she wondered how good of a mother she herself would be.Ifshe ever had children. The truth was that she hoped to, someday.
But not if she didn’t learn how to behave around a man.
Speaking of children…
Anaxandra caught sight of Estevan and another knight as they entered the garden area. She pretended to be busy, still going about her duties, but she was keeping an eye on them. When Estevan broke away from the other man and headed in her direction, she could feel her heart begin to race. Was it fear? Or was it something else? She truly didn’t know.
All she knew was that the sight of him was making her breathless.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as he came near. “Did you come to help?”
She didn’t know why she asked him that. It was just something to say, nervous chatter. But he took it as a joke.
“I’ll help if ye need it,” he said, smiling. “But it looks as if ye have plenty of help. They’re doing a fine job.”
He had a beautiful smile. Anaxandra’s heart began to race a little faster and, instinctively, she smiled in return. It was the first time she’d ever smiled at him. It came as something of a shock when she realized she’d done it, but that didn’t stop her from continuing. The smile remained.
It felt rather natural.
“They always do a fine job,” she agreed. “This will be our late summer harvest, and everyone is very excited because our cook will prepare honeyed carrots and everyone loves them.”
Estevan peered into the wagon full of vegetables that seemed surprisingly organized. “Me too,” he said. “So ye keep bees?”
Anaxandra nodded. “We do,” she said. “In the forest to the east.”
“And no one steals yer honey?”
“Dogs guard the hives,” she said. “Moreover, who is going to steal from the Lady Templars?”
He snorted. “Only fools.”
“Only fools, indeed,” she said, dumping in the last basket of carrots and handing it back to the brown-haired child. She seemed to sober, eyeing him as if considering what to say next. “Did your friend enjoy his drink? The one you got in Dumfries?”
Estevan nodded. “It has soothed his throat,” he said. “But I think he’ll be down for a couple of days at least. Whatever illness infects Leonore is infecting him all the same.”
“Leonore. That is the woman you brought to us.”
“Aye.”
The conversation lagged, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Still, Anaxandra knew she should say something about Dumfries and the way they had left it. He didn’t seem angry now, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t harboring ill feelings toward her.
She really didn’t want that.
“If… if I was offensive to you in Dumfries, I did not mean it,” she said quietly. “I know you were only trying to be kind. But I must return the necklace to you because we are not permitted to keep personal possessions like that.”
He regarded her a moment, his pale eyes drifting over her. “I overstepped myself,” he said simply. “I dinna mean tae. Ye must remember I’m not used tae having interaction with nuns. Or with ladies who live in a convent. I forgot myself and I apologize.”
