Page 89 of Blood from the Marrow
How the fuck was she supposed to keep all these people alive? The Veil witches were going to take one look at this shitshow and decide Zuri was in way over her head.
Because she was. She was drowning in responsibility she’d never asked for, trying to protect people she loved more than her own life while pretending she had any clue what she was doing.
Zuri pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the sliding door and forced herself to breathe. Elena needed her to be strong. Marisol needed her to be fearless. But all she felt was the crushing certainty that she was going to fail them all. That they didn’t stand a chance against a better organized enemy that had been strategizing for a long time. Sayah and her vampires were already in lockstep. Already understood each other.
The Salem witches and their mysterious potions would have to wait. Right now, she needed five minutes to fall apart before she had to put her game face back on and pretend she was worthy of the faith everyone kept placing in her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Time was sostrange in captivity, Elena decided. Its contours were nebulous, moving at its own speed. The initial panicked rush of preparing for Sayah’s attack had eased into a rather steady routine. Days felt so long and nights even longer.
Sometimes she wondered what Sayah imagined when she thought of her. How she pictured them trembling, terrified, waiting. Sayah probably thought every moment was full of anxiety, Elena wondering if this might be the day she struck. And if circumstances were only slightly different, it might be true. But each day brought the vampires, witches, and Aglion closer.
Instead of feeling inert, every moment Elena had with her merry band of weirdos, as Zuri called them, was invigorating. Every dusk they greeted as a unit was more natural than the last. Elena could never have imagined that so many kinds of witches would join so easily with vampires. That most of the terrified Aglion would leave their insular group. That they would trust Hel and Lib to give them direction. That Sofia would spend most of her time with Judith under the guise of fine-tuning their coordinated attacks.
Elena knew better but she let Sofia hide behind whatever excuse she wanted. It didn’t matter if Sofia named what wasspringing to life between her and Judith. For nearly a century, Sofia hadn’t allowed herself to connect with anyone. Maybe there was something about Judith’s protective-bordering-on-insufferable energy that made Sofia feel safe for once. Or maybe it was the specter of war hanging over them. War had brought Librada and Hel together once and it was obviously working faster the second time around.
Strange how impending death changed everything. Even for Elena. The possibility of losing her family made every moment sharper, more precious. It made her think about life instead of survival, pulling her into the existential question about what it meant to truly live, not just exist through endless nights. She’d spent so many years focused on protecting her position that she’d forgotten to consider what she wanted to do with it. What she wanted out of her second life.
And what she wanted was them. Marisol, courageous and stubborn with a heart so full of endless empathy it made Elena question how someone so pure could exist untarnished. Zuri, who loved so fiercely and so bravely that there was nothing she wouldn’t give for the people she loved. They’d made her feel more alive in the past eight months than she had in either of her lifetimes. They’d given her something worth fighting for beyond mere vengeance or duty.
Eight months. Was that long enough to feel what she felt for both Marisol and Zuri? In a life that had spanned nearly three hundred years, eight months was nothing. Should be nothing. And yet, Elena knew with absolute certainty that she’d never want to live a moment without either of them. She’d lost Zuri once before and it had been torture, but now that Marisol had made their love complete… She couldn’t imagine taking another breath if it wasn’t to inhale their perfume. Couldn’t imagine letting a drop of nourishment cross her lips if it wasn’t from them.
She would do anything to keep them safe. Anything to see them happy. The thought of a world without them was unbearable in a way that made her understand why humans clung so desperately to hope. Why they forswore self-preservation for a love so big that it became the point of everything. The only thing that mattered. Even if the odds were that it would end in pain.
Elena moved to the sliding glass door and looked out at the pool where Zuri and Marisol were sitting together in the hot tub. The other witches and Aglion had retired for the night, and most vampires had gathered in the ballroom to crack open the fresh blood Diego had brought. She’d been on her way there when she’d gotten distracted. When the hazy idea that had been swirling in her mind for weeks sharpened into focus.
The sight of the women in the pool loosened something in Elena’s chest. A knot of tension melted effortlessly. When was the last time she’d been swimming? Elena couldn’t remember that last time she didn’t begrudge the water. Deciding that Bernice and Cordelia could handle things without her for a while, Elena stepped out into the cool night.
With a look, Elena told the handful of vampires in conversation to give them privacy. By the time she reached the deep end of the pool furthest from the hot tub on the other side, there was no one outside.
“What are you doing?” Zuri called loudly, sitting up and setting her glass of wine on the stone ledge.
Instead of replying, Elena unbuttoned her shirt and pulled off her jeans. Marisol looked at her, eyes wide with amusement and a little surprise.
Elena’s bra came off next, and then she was diving headfirst into the saltwater pool. The sudden plunge into the heated water was a shock she hadn’t expected. It pulled her in, almost embracing her as she dove to the bottom before swimmingforward. Lungs aching in an exhilarating rush, she remembered the joy of swimming in the cove with Catalina. Remembered what it was like to want. To dream. To dare.
She appeared at the shallow end, holding the edge of the hot tub before she slicked her hair back.
“Well, that’s a fucking entrance,” Zuri said with a chuckle.
“Get in with me,” Elena replied with a smirk.
Zuri quirked her brow. “I’m not wetting my hair.”
“What if this is the last night we spend together?” Elena asked. “Would you still turn me down?”
Zuri’s expression darkened. “Did something happen?”
“No,” she replied. “But it could. And are your final thoughts going to be that you have to reapply conditioner?”
Zuri rolled her eyes, but Marisol was already stepping onto the ledge to transition from the hot tub to the pool. In a one-piece bathing suit she’d taken from somewhere in the house, Marisol had no business looking so beautiful.
“Take it off,” Elena said.
“No!” Marisol shrieked her reply, eyes darting across to where the Aglion village stood silent. “Anyone could see us,” she scream-whispered.
Elena knew she meant Clara, and she wished she’d planned this in advance. That she’d sent someone in there to keep her future mother-in-law away from the windows. The idea of in-laws would have made Elena laugh if it didn’t set off a smattering of fireworks in her belly. If she didn’t want it fully and unironically.
