Page 52 of Ruthless Keeper
“Max mentioned having a dog earlier,” I murmur. “One that gets along with Luci. That might be why my cat accepts Max.”
“So you two did a lot of talking this morning, hmm?” Monster’s voice is progressively growing more and more testy. “What exactly did you talk about?”
I suddenly feel like I’m back on the field, with a plane dropping bombs flying overhead. One wrong step will mean getting blown up, so I have to choose my words carefully. Monster’s obviously unhappy that I haveanysort of relationship with anyone who isn’t him. It’s completely within his power to command Max to never speak to me again, which would, strangely, hurt. I like Max. I don’t think he’s agoodman, but he is adecentone.
“Plants,” I reply quietly. “Animals. He suggested very strongly I give you a shot. It wasn’t anything to write home about.”
Monster relaxes a little at hearing that Max is his advocate, but not entirely. “And… what are your sentiments regarding actually putting a little effort into us?”
“Remember when I poisoned you? I’d rather do that again before giving into you.” As soon as the words, I lift a hand to cover my mouth. The drugs are making me loopy, and loosening my tongue in a way that could come back around to bite me in the ass.
Rather than grow enraged, Monster releases a low chuckle. “Fair enough.” His laugh fades, and his hold on me grows a bit tighter. “I don’t want it to be like this, Scarlett,” he whispers quietly. “I don’t want you to feel the weight of captivity bearing down on you every second of every day. I want you to find freedom here, with me.”
“That’s an oxymoron.”
“Not necessarily. Maybe a paradox—”
“A juxtaposition.”
“There’s my clever girl.” I glance up to see Monster smiling a bit, but the smile fades when we lock eyes, and his expression grows serious. “We could both live in misery,” he tells me. “Or, we could live happily.”
“I don’t foresee a happily ever afterhere.”
“Then give me a chance to expand your vision. You’re being too shortsighted.”
I press my lips together and look away. Strangely, the urge to push Monster away doesn’t overcome me; for whatever reason, at least right now, I don’t mind his touch. In fact, I’m drawing strength from it.
Giving into Monster would be the greatest mistake of my life—I know that. But, if I’m truly never getting out of here…
I don’t like feeling like a captive who’s only value lies in sex. I don’t like being reduced to a pair of tits and a pussy for Monster to play with whenever he feels like. The only times I’ve felt human as of late are in the greenhouse… and with Max. Especially with Max.
That could be because Max actuallylistens. It could be because I’m not as shut off from him, simply because he wasn’t the one to torture me. But as I think, the realization dawns that he very well could have. If Boyce had been instructingMaxto hurt me, ifMaxbelieved I’d killed the closest person to him in the world… he’d probably have hurt me badly.
What’s more, ifIwas in Monster’s position, if I thought he’d killedmybrother… I would’ve done a lot worse to him than what he did to me. My revelations don’t make me despise Monster any less, but they do lend at least a little bit of perspective.
“Think about it,” Monster says. “Think about who you could become here with me. Probably the world’s leading plant-engineer.”
“Botanical genetic engineer,” I murmur, correcting him… and knowing he’s right. At a university, I would’ve had at least another five years before I could’ve really dug into altering plant genetics to make them more productive. I would’ve needed to go through my PHD and be a post-doc somewhere, where I would’ve inevitably been saddled with busywork rather than doing what Iwantto do, what I truly excelat. Here, there are no such boundaries and constraints. I have the best tech in the world at my disposal, and lots of time on my hands.
But is being Monster’s sex slave really worth it to do my job? To make a name for myself in this world?
Maybe.
“Botanical genetic engineer,” Monster echoes softly. “You could do anything you want. Whatever you need, tell me, and it’s yours. Whatever you want, tell me, and it’s yours. My heart is already yours, Scarlett, and while that is a life sentence… there are benefits. I don’t have it in me to deny you anything besides freedom, because I can’t stomach the thought of a life without you.”
A single tear rolls down my cheek, representing the turmoil hidden beneath the surface of my skin. I’m confused, at odds with myself, warring between logic and emotion. Logically, I should start giving Monster some grace for my own sake. But, emotionally, I’m willing to suffer if it means making him suffer. I don’t want to offer him a happily ever after he doesn’t deserve.
Monster kisses the tear away and readjusts his hold on me, bringing me to lean against his chest. “This is my favorite part,” he whispers. “Whenever I’m done playing with you, you’re clingy. In need of comfort. I’ll give you all the comfort in the world—”
“I don’t require comfort from anyone, least of all you.”
“Liar,” Monster breathes. “Everyone needs comfort and a safe space. EvenIneed it, and we both know how wretched my soul is.” The self-deprecation in his voice makes something in my chest pang with pain. Confusion, maybe, but something else. Some part of me feels for Monster.
A few knocks sound on the cracked-open door, and then the doctor who treated me earlier steps inside. He nods at me, then fixes his gazeon Monster. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his shirt is buttoned wrong. It looks like he really did just roll out of bed.
“What can I do for you?” he asks Monster.
Monster presses a lingering kiss to my head, then carefully slips out from beside me. He draws the stiff hospital blanket over me. “Call if you need anything,” he says, motioning to a red button on the side of the bed. “I’ll be back shortly.”
