Page 68 of Ruthless Keeper
Chapter Twenty-Five
Scarlett
Asoul-deep sadness has me in its grip, even as I spend time in the single happy place I have in this world—the greenhouse. Max has done a good job of following my instructions for the seedlings, and while I find some minor issues while looking over the report I get from the tech console, it’s nothing catastrophic.
Tobias, quiet and solemn though he usually is, seems to sense that something’s wrong with me. He sits with his computer in the corner of the room, but casts me constant glances that are laced with something I might think was worry… if I didn’t know better. He doesn’t give a shit about me.
After my conversation with my brother, I don’t know that anyone gives a shit about me.
Anyone except Monster.
A knot lodges in my throat and chest. How is it that the one man I should hate most in this world might also be the only one I have left?
“Your sadness is too loud,” Tobias says blandly. “If you could cut it out, I might get more work done.”
I don’t bother looking in his direction. “If you have a problem with being in here, you’re free to leave. I didn’t ask for your presence.”
There’s a long pause. “Fair enough,” Tobias says. “You want to talk about it?”
“With you? Fuck no.”
“Believe it or not, I’m actually a very good listener.”
I snort. “I’ll bet. I’d also wager you’re very good at turning around and passing on anything you hear to your general and commanding officer, or Cain.”
Tobias scoffs. “I don’t tell Cain shit. He might own this place, but I’m loyal to Greyson.”
“Wonderful for you,” I mutter, logging out of the system and walking up to a bed of seedlings. “You’re loyal to a monster. You should celebrate.”
“He might be a monster toyou, but he’s a leader to me,” Tobias retorts. “You weren’t here the last nine months, Scarlett, but there were some bad ops. He got me, and the rest of our unit, out of deep shit multiple times. He’s had my back, so I have his.”
I let out a long, tired sigh. “I don’t know if he’s a monster to me anymore,” I say quietly. I’m not sure why I’m telling Tobias this, but he’s here, and I’m so bogged down by emotions I think they might explode if I contain them any longer. “There’s no doubt he’samonster, but I’m not sure if he’s the monster undermybed. I don’t know what to think.”
Tobias gazes at me with a startling intensity. “He’s not a good man… but any good that’s left in him is yours. I don’t think you’ve yet grasped the power you have over the guy. If you asked him to cut his beating heart out of his chest and serve it to you on a silver platter, he’d do it.”
I swallow thickly. That’s not the sort of power I ever strived for in this life, but the fact that I have it… thatIcan affect this man in ways no one else ever has… it’s significant. I just don’t quite know how to feel about it.
“I’m going to go walk the land,” I tell Tobias. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t follow behind to babysit me.” I think I just need to grieve. Grieve over the loss of my life and my brother. Grieve what should have been but never was. Grieve my future, my past… I need some room to be sad.
“Don’t stray too far,” Tobias says simply.
I’m grateful for the reprieve from being accompanied everywhere, even if I know my freedom is an illusion. I’ve seen the new gates around the fortress; they’re electric and patrolled. There’s no way I’m getting out of here unless someone lets me go, so I guess Tobias doesn’t have all that much to worry about.
My steps are sluggish as I make my way out into the setting sun. It casts a beautiful, orange-tinged glow on the acres of fertile land before me. I find a small patch of wildflowers—ones I know will have to be weeded out before planting begins—and sink down among them, doing my best not to squish them.
I draw my knees up to my chest, rest my chin on them, and get lost in the past. I allow myself to be swept away by the few good adolescent memories I have, all of which were with my brother.
The moment my brothersaved me, got me out from under Dad’s reign and gave me the support I needed to start trying toliverather than merelysurvive.
The late night drinks, the early morning visits, the phone calls… my brother’s presence in my life has been relatively scarce but profoundly impactful.Hetold me to ignore my fears and pursue my passion for botanical genetic engineering.Hemade my dreams a possibility.
And, just an hour ago, he threatened to put a hit out on me as a scare tactic. Called me a stupid girl, demeaned my intelligence and strength…rightfully so. In his position, I might’ve done something similar, though I wouldn’t have been quite so harsh with it.
Tears start dripping down my cheek, staining the fabric of my jeans. I lift my hand to my neck, reaching for the diamond collar, only to realize it’s gone. I’ve developed a habit of stroking it when I’m lost in thought, but now, I don’t even havethat.
Not that I should want it. The collar might’ve been expensive, but it symbolized cruel ownership, and I’m glad to be rid of it.
I think.
