Page 106 of Sincerely, Pack Pucked
I grimaced, knowing exactly what he wanted. He wanted me to skate up to the female fans who were holding the signs, blow them kisses, make them feel loved. That was the sort of thing I used to do when I started playing, but ever since I had met Mable, none of that felt right.
Jasper turned to me, a tight look on his face. “I suppose it's the least we can do,” he said, somewhat reluctantly.
Internally, I was at war. I knew the fangirls existed, and I used to adore interacting with them, but I’d been pulling away for a while for a reason. On the other hand, this team had given me my first big break, and we had dropped the team in the shit with Devin and Percy fleeing at a moment’s notice.
Finally, I took a deep breath. “Yeah… I’ll do it.”
Even as I saw Coach relax, unease crawled through my veins. This was not what I wanted to be doing. Mable was sick in our penthouse, and I didn’t think I could concentrate on skating, let alone scoring and flirting with some chicks who sometimes—often—didn’t understand the meaning of personal space.
Money was how we paid for everything Mable needed, including that fancy penthouse where she was currently sick and dealing with it alone. If I couldn’t bring in an income, I couldn’t support her—or the baby who could very well be mine.
I had to do this. I had to do thisforMable.
I prayed that the interactions would be on the chiller side today. If someone got too handsy, I didn’t know what I might do. And I also knew that showering and rushing home to be with the only woman in the world I cared about was going to occupy the majority of my mind. I’d never played this distracted before.
Here’s hoping I don’t make a fool of myself. Ugh…for Mable.
Chapter 41
Mable
As far as I knew, some time had passed. I was vaguely aware that two of the guys came home. I immediately recognized Devin’s scent, followed by Percy’s. I’d anchored myself to them like a life raft. It had slowly gotten more bearable to be alive, and though I was nearly back to my old self, it still felt like something was missing.
They’re not all home.
Saint and Jasper were still at the game and hadn't returned home yet. Percy and Devin were doing their best to look after me, but they weren't exactly saying much. Within hours of them being back, I felt a million times better, though. It was crazy how quickly I went from feeling like a corpse to feeling human again.
I had finally persuaded both of them to go shower and change, after they had been looking after me for a good twenty-four hours, when I picked up my phone and opened an Internet browser.
Separation sickness.
I needed to know if what I had was permanent. Maybe if this was a short-term thing during my pregnancy, we could cope with it, but the guysneededto leave at least every other week for their away games. They couldn’t quit, and I had no intention of goingthroughthatagain, because that headache and disorientation had been straight from hell.
I honestly believed it would have felt nicer to be rammed in the head with an ice pick.
Breathe, Mable. Don’t make it worse.
Even though I was feeling miles better, my body still felt heavy with a lethargic ache that stretched from the top of my skull all the way down to my toes. I wasn’t a drinker, but I could guess this might be what a really bad hangover felt like. And if so, why the hell did people put themselves through this?
Although I knew that searching the Internet wasn't thebestoption for research—I probably needed to speak to my doctor as soon as possible—I wanted to do a cursory search for myself before I got my alphas involved. I was like that, needing all the information myself as soon as possible so I could understand and assess.
Unfortunately, almost every article I read emphasized how severe separation sickness could be. Each paragraph made my heart sink even further. Avoiding the sickness required the alphas, and it could come back with a vengeance. I had no control over it, either. The sensation of being trapped was beginning to crush me. What could I do? I was stuck beneath the wills of these alphas and their careers.
And some medical condition that had the gall to exist.Stupid.
There seemed to be some medical options, but they were usually recommended only in the case of a pregnant omega who’d lost her alphas.
That thought sent a chill down my spine. I wanted a little bit of space, sure. But I didn't want to lose my alphas entirely.
So, medications could lessen the symptoms of separation sickness. They weren't nearly as effective as actually having myalphas near me for preventing or curing it, but they could help me in transitioning to being able to spend time away from them.
That is…if that's what I truly wanted.
Sighing, I lay back in my nest, squinting at the small screen. WhatdidI want? I was a volatile mess of hormones and emotions, and what I wanted seemed to change every two minutes. I hated feeling so off-kilter. I was usually much calmer and more rational than this. It was like my body was betraying me, and I literally had no control over it. It was doing all this without my permission, like it didn’t really belong to me.
And that said nothing of what the stress was doing to the baby. As if the crushing anxiety and frustration weren’t enough, I was battling with extreme mom guilt, and the baby wasn’t even here yet.
Amazing. I’m going to be a terrible mother.
