Page 74 of Most Likely to Score
It’s all good. It’s all permissible. It’s all photographable. As Ford pushes open the door, I have to wonder what would be so bad about being out with Jillian? What would the press say if that guy captured a shot of me holding the door for her? What would Liam, Ford, or Trevor say? I once thought being with her would be terribly wrong. I once thought it was far too dangerous.
But when I think of Jillian now, the possibility of us leaving a restaurant hand in hand only seems right.
I want these guys to be on my side—to believe in their hearts that Jillian and I are right together. Only,I’m not a starry-eyed dreamer. I’m a realist and Igetthat it’s naive to think a simple declaration of my feelings is all it’d take.
I don’t know what it will take, though. That’s the trouble. But I need to start figuring out how to have Jillianandthe contract.
If I can have both, that is.
At the valet stand, Liam takes off first, telling us he’s heading to the airport to catch a red-eye to the East Coast for the next few days. Once Ford is gone, the attendant pulls up with Trevor’s ride. I slide into the passenger seat and buckle in, and he drives me home.
We stop outside my house, and my brother knits his brow. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet all night.”
“No. I’m not okay.”
He cuts the engine. “Talk to me.”
I tip my forehead to the house. “I have to take my guy for a stroll.”
Three minutes later, we’re out walking Cletus. “So there’s a woman,” I begin.
Trevor drags a hand through his hair. “It’s always about women, isn’t it?”
Part of me wants to defend myself, but he’s right. When a straight man wants to make big changes in his life, it’s nearly always on account of a woman. Because when a man feels this strongly for a woman, it makes him want to transform his priorities. It makes him want to take chances he never thought he’d take before.
Still, I correct him. “Woman.As in one. Not women.”
“Okay. What’s the story with this woman?”
“She’s different. She’s not like anyone else I’ve beenwith,” I add as we turn the corner, Cletus leading the way around the block.
“It’s Jillian, isn’t it?”
I nod.
“Dude, you need to be careful.” His tone is a stern warning.
“I am careful, but look, I like her. I like her a lot. I’m fucking falling for her.”
Stopping in his tracks, Trevor stares at me, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. “Are you kidding me? You’re falling for a woman? For real?”
I shake my head, because that’s not correct. It’s well past falling. Everything I pictured earlier tonight clicks into place. I want the freedom to be with Jillian because I’ve fallen in love with her. My heart thumps a little harder as the thought shifts from bits and pieces of emotion to a fully formed certainty. “No, I’m not falling. I’vefallen.I’m in love with her.”
“Whoa.” He holds up his hand like a stop sign. “In. Love?” He points at me, incredulous. “You? In love? For the first time, ever?”
“Don’t act so surprised. It was bound to happen.”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “I never thought you’d say those words,” he says, like he’s still processing the sheer magnitude of the bomb I dropped on him.
“It’s the truth. And listen, I know you think I can’t sustain a relationship for longer than a week, let alone a month, but I’ve had feelings for her for a while. I didn’t act on them because of what we talked about, and your concerns, but when we were in Miami . . .”
“You hooked up in South Beach?”
Anger flares through me. “Don’t you get it? I’m trying to tell you it’s more than hooking up. It’s way more than that.”
“Okay, it was more than hooking up. Fine. I get it. Are you still . . . doing whatever this more than hooking up is?”
I shake my head. “We’ve been behaving since we returned more than a month ago. The thing is, nothing has changed, and I still want her. I like her. I’m in love with her, man.”
