Page 13 of Mimic
It wasn’t lust or desire. I had seen that enough in the club girls to recognize it. But it wasn’t disgust or hatred either. I dumped the coffee in the sink and darted past her. I opened her front door and growled, “Go back to bed, Indie.”
When the door closed behind me, I sank to the floor. My elbows hit my knees, and my hands gripped my hair. I was losing control when it came to her. Did she know the power she held over me? Did she understand it? ’Cause I sure as fuck didn’t.
I let my hands fall between my knees and lay my head back against the door. I sat there until I was sure it was safe to go back inside.
Both cups lay upside down on a towel by the sink, rinsed out and left to dry. My eyes searched the darkened hall, and my feet slipped quietly along the hardwood floor until I stood in front of her door, my hands braced on the outside trim.
It would be a long fucking night.
Chapter Five
Indie
I woke up more exhausted than I had been when I went to bed last night. Mimic woke me multiple times throughout the night demanding I walk out to the living room, only to send me immediately back to bed.
The few hours of sleep in between those wake ups were plagued with nightmares. Memories of years at the Trick Pony. Things I had been forced to do. Things that had been done to me.
The nightmares were constant when we first escaped. Every night, Alice and Jenny and I would wake each other up screaming and crying. We shared our dreams only with each other. Sometimes I wondered if that was why Jenny had taken her life. Not only did she have to endure her own time there, but mine and Alice’s too.
The last time I’d had one was almost a year ago. They came only when the stress of being alone became too much.
I wanted to blame Mimic. Every time my eyes opened, and I found him watching me, I was back at the Trick Pony. Reliving the moment we were woken in the night to service some special guest. Opening our eyes to Devlin, or his son, or worse Veronica, who hovered over us with a smile that was meant to be soothing, but we knew it would only cause us harm.
The fear would flash through me like a lightning bolt only to disappear as quickly as it arrived. But it never went away. That moment of being startled awake would always take me back to what I had been through.
I knew if I spoke to Haizley, she would tell me I was suffering from PTSD. She would have exercises and tools to help me get past it, I was sure. Maybe even a pill I could take. But I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell anyone.
If I did, they would know Daniel Scott was here because of me. I didn’t know how he’d found me. Murmurs in town spoke of his connection to Amber. I couldn’t help but feel guilty that my being here might have put her at risk.
Daniel was dead now. Killed by a hitman if the rumors were true. It wasn’t surprising. His father was dead; Veronica was dead. Maybe it didn’t matter how he found me. Maybe I was safe now. Maybe there was no one left looking for us. I wondered if the others were safe. Had he found them before he found me?
Was Alice safe? Was she happy? Were any of them happy? Or were they all living the way I was? Under the radar, trying not to draw attention to themselves.
Living a life of celibacy because the idea of a man or woman touching me was so triggering that I’d resigned myself to being alone. Never having a partner or a family.
It wasn’t just the idea of being touched. It was the revelation that anyone who knew what had been done to me, what I had eventually done willingly to avoid the beatings and the abuse, would look at me with not just pity—pity I could endure; it was the disgust in their eyes that I didn’t want to see.
Eyes didn’t hold secrets. The eyes let people see what was hiding underneath. The horror, the fear, the dark, depraved secrets that I craved. Just once, I would like to look into someone’s eyes and see patience. Maybe kindness, and one day even love.
There was something in Mimic’s eyes. Something that called out to me when his eyes focused on mine. Something I couldn’t explain. It terrified me and ignited something in me I had never experienced.
Now, I lay in my bed listening for any sounds coming from the other side of my bedroom door. It was quiet. Peaceful, almost.
Except that I knew he was out there.
He was in my space, leaving his mark.
He was trying to be quiet, but if I listened closely, I could hear the whisper of movement. A heavy sigh escaped, and I knew I had to climb out of this bed and face the day. And the man in my home who made my heart race in a way no one ever had.
Whenever he was close, my heart beat frantically. Not in fear, but in anticipation. Anticipation of what, I wasn’t sure. Yes, he was hot and sexy. But did I want him to touch me? Did I want to feel his hands on my body and his mouth on my skin, trailing kisses down my throat?
The way my pussy flooded between my legs at the idea of Mimic taking me said I did. But could I trust my body to know what it wanted? It had been trained to react. Trained to expect stimulation and release whether I wanted it or not.
No, my body couldn’t be trusted. I didn’t think my heart or my mind could be trusted either. My heart didn’t know how to react. The only love I had ever experienced was from my mother. And my mind? Well, I wasn’t sure she was even all there. I knew I was broken. We all were. No one survived what we went through. What we were taught. What we endured.
Then again, maybe Jenny survived. Maybe her death was her way of truly getting free. Maybe death was the only genuine option.
With a heavy sigh, I climbed out of my bed and slipped on my robe. I bolted across the hall to the bathroom. I quickly used the toilet and brushed my teeth. The reflection in the mirror showed me just how hard that bastard had hit me.
