Page 57 of Somebody to Save
She drew idle patterns with the tip of her finger across my chest. “I guess, but what kind of music do you listen to? I know you’ve played some rock before.”
I kissed the top of her head and ran a hand down her back. “I really listen to a little bit of everything,” I said.
She laughed and shook her head. “Oh yes, the classic non-answer answer. There’s got to be something you prefer to listen to over anything else. At least right now.”
She was right. It definitely wasn’t much of an answer. “I’ve been listening to mostly rock lately. Or blues when I’m working. What about you?”
Her hands stilled against my chest, and I looked down at her. She was worrying her lower lip between her teeth again, and I couldn’t understand why she was nervous about telling me her music taste.
Grabbing the remote from the side table, I turned on the TV and pulled up my preferred music listening app. Still lying against my chest, she watched me pull it up.
“Show me,” I said, handing her the remote.
She sat up and clicked on the “search” bar. “It’s not what you expect,” she said. I continued rubbing her back as she typed. “I’m sure you’re expecting something girly or pop. Something bubblegum and sweet. But…” Her words trailed off as music started playing from the TV speakers.
And she was damn right. It was the last thing I expected. Metal music erupted from the TV speakers, and my eyebrows shot to my hairline. She looked back at me with a small smile curving her lips.
“Told you,” she muttered. “But this is my favorite band.”
Although it wasn’t music I usually listened to, it was really good. It was just hard to believe that someone who appeared so sweet listened to music that was the opposite.
“I like it,” I said, and she gave me an incredulous look over her shoulder. “I’m serious. Show me more.”
Narrowing her eyes at me, she laid back down against my chest and chose another song. And we continued like that for a while. She showed me her favorite bands, her favorite songs,and I learned even more about the woman that had me wrapped around her finger.
She loved metal music, the screamier and louder, the better, it seemed. And the longer we listened, the more it grew on me. I also wanted to experience anything that made her giddy like that.
Then she handed the remote to me and asked me to show her a few of my favorites. But my music taste was much less interesting, so I showed her a few of the songs I’d had on repeat recently.
“We should have a movie night,” she said around a yawn, and I turned off the TV and the music that had been playing softly in the background for over an hour.
“A movie night sounds perfect, baby girl.”
Without letting go of her, I reached over and flipped off the lamp on my bedside table. I rolled over, and she did the same, cuddling up to me until her back was pressed to my front and her head was resting on the pillow between us.
“Your bed is so cozy,” she whispered, her voice heavy with sleep.
I hummed and pressed my nose into the bend of her neck, where I could smell the combination of her clean hair and my body wash still clinging to her skin. “It is, but it’s even better with you in it.”
“Good,” she mumbled, and I could tell she was about to succumb to sleep.
My eyes dragged over the curve of her body, but my attention latched on the bed just on the other side of her. There was a faint light shining through the small slit in the curtains across the room. It wasn’t enough light to disturb either of us, but it was enough that I could see Addison’s arms stretched out next to her. Her right arm lay against the sheet while her left scratched back and forth over her forearm.
My first thought was that she was itching her skin, that shemight have had a reaction from my body wash, but when she felt my fingers against her arm, she tensed beneath me.
“Sorry,” I whispered. Running my thumb over the smooth skin, I didn’t feel any raised bumps that would signal a reaction. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She let out a deep breath and shifted against me. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Her voice was far more clear than it had been a few minutes earlier. Like the sleep was all but gone with my interruption.
“Okay.” I wrapped my arm around her stomach and held her close, but I could still feel the tension throughout her body.
Right when I was about to speak up and ask again if everything was okay, she cleared her throat softly.
“It’s weird, but I rub my arm to go to sleep sometimes. Actually, that’s a lie, I do it most nights.” I hummed in understanding, and she continued. “After my parents died, when I went to live with Nana and Grams, I didn’t sleep alone for a year. I couldn’t stand my dark, quiet room because that’s when I remembered that I wouldn’t ever see them again. And I had these terrible nightmares that I was also there when they died. It was hard to ignore my thoughts when I was doing nothing else but trying to go to sleep, so I slept with them. And Nana would rub my arm every night until I fell asleep. It was comforting and soothing. I guess it just kind of stuck.”
I held her closer and kissed her temple. Words failed me in the wake of such honesty. I hadn’t pressed Addison on further details about her parents, knowing she would share when she was ready, and hearing the pain in her voice, I wanted to do anything I could to take it away.
But I was powerless to do anything but hold her and give her a safe space to share.
