Page 101 of Somebody to Save
When Addie’s parents passed away, we were all heartbroken. Gabby and I were in our sixties and unsure how to raise another child. Especially at our age. And not just any child, a child that lost both of her parents in a tragic accident.
We did our best, but it wasn’t without the hard times. Hard times which included a few learning experiences for all of us.
About a year after the accident, Addie started kindergarten. She was nervous about riding the bus, so we’d worked out a schedule fordropping her off and picking her up. But one minor miscommunication later, and we’d wound up almost two hours late to pick her up.
By the time we got there, her eyes were bloodshot from crying and she was angry, which she had every right to be.
It wasn’t until dinner the next day that she finally spoke to us again and admitted in her small, sweet voice that she was worried we’d never come back. That we would leave her just like her parents did.
It broke my heart all over again. And I vowed to do anything and everything in my power to keep it from happening ever again.
So, now, onto the purpose of this letter. I won’t ask that you never leave her or stay together forever, because life often doesn’t work that way. Although I think the two of you bring out the best in one another and make an incredible team. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay.
All I ask is that you be careful with her heart. And you love her the best you can for as long as you can or are willing.
She deserves the world, and I truly believe you could be the one to give it to her. So, you have my blessing—not that you needed it—but it’s a nice sentiment. You are the type of person every grandmother hopes their grandchild will find. And I know that the two of you will make a beautiful life together filled with laughter, happiness, and love.
I regret that I won’t get to see it completely come to fruition, but the little glimpse I did get was beautiful. And no matter what, I’ll be there in spirit, watching your love grow and rooting you both on.
Love always,
Nana
P.S. If you do break her heart, I will haunt you. And I wouldn’t mind if you did have children if you named one after me. And if you don’t want to use Helen, my middle name is Elizabeth.
I wiped away a tear and refolded the letter. I set it on the coffee table and peered down at Addison who had moved on to the second page of her own letter.
She took a deep, stuttered breath and wrapped her handaround my forearm, urging me to hold her tighter. I kissed the top of her head and held her close as she finished reading. It gave me a few minutes to digest everything in Nana’s letter to me.
Including a daughter named Elizabeth who looked exactly like Addison. Fuck, it sounded perfect. So perfect I could only dream it.
Addison clutched the letter and turned into my chest. Sobs wracked her body, and my heart shattered at her pain. It only made me hold her tighter. And I was never letting go.
FIFTY
OH, CRAP. YES!
Addison
The salty breezewas warm against my cheeks and thoroughly filled my lungs as I took a deep breath.
I braced my hands on the balcony of the beach house Beckett rented and peered over the never-ending expanse of water in front of me. It was so blue and clear at the shore, lapping at the white sand beaches in a trance-like rhythm. It went on forever.
Pictures and videos didn’t do it justice. They were nothing compared to the smell and sound and awe of the ocean. I understood why my parents were drawn to it. Why they loved being by the water.
Standing on the second-story balcony, I peered out over the water and watched, for the first time in my life, the sun dip below the horizon. Pinks and oranges painted the sky, and it was such a breathtaking view, I couldn’t tear my eyes from it. I couldn’t believe that it had taken me almost twenty-four years to see it for the first time.
The past six months had been hard. And also, some of the best of my life. It was strange how that was possible.
I missed Nana every day. There was a hole in my chest bigenough that it still ached often. I couldn’t imagine a day when it wouldn’t. And when it hurt more than I could bear, I reread her letter. Seeing her scrawl and hearing her sass again, even if it wasn’t directly from her mouth, was soothing.
It was a gentle reminder of what she hoped for me after she was gone. She’d made me swear to live life to the fullest and stop worrying about everyone else. She literally wrote the words “be more selfish or I’ll haunt you from the grave,” so how was I supposed to argue with that?
So, I’d tried my very best to abide by her final wish for me. I’d gone from full-time at Lake Hills to only helping out with important events and planning every once in a while. Meanwhile, Caroline had promoted me to a senior event planner, and I was handling my own weddings without her oversight.
I didn’t need the additional income anymore, just like Grams didn’t need my additional help. I still stopped in often to hang out with her and make sure she was doing well, and she was. She was still living in their house but had joined a book club and had begun selling her baked goods at a local farmer’s market on the weekends.
I still caught her with red eyes and emotion thick in her throat, but she was doing as well as could be expected. She missed her partner, her wife, but life didn’t stop. At least that’s what she told me.
