Page 104 of Half the Summer's Night
I blink in surprise. “I’m not scared. As confusing as all this is—” I gesture out at the boat, at the water, at Kaplan floating away. “I’m not scared. Not of you.”
Rowan studies me with those dark, serious eyes.
“I like this,” I say softly. “Seeing you. Without the mask.”
A startled smile flickers across his lips. “I—I like it, too. It’s—different. But I’m getting used to it. I’m getting used to a lot of things.”
I frown. Sea spray blows up between us, bright and sparkling, and for a second, I think I see a rainbow shimmering in the air.
“That’s what I wanted to—” Rowan moves closer to me and takes my hand and then looks down at it. So do I, our fingers braided together. Coroner and killer. And yet I don’t want to let him go.
“Charlotte told me some things about myself,” he says, and I look up at his face again. He tilts his head away from me, toward the ocean. The wind blusters, bringing more sea spray. “This is going to sound crazy.”
“Crazier than everything else about you?”
“Yes.” He’s serious, and his hand tightens around mine. “She says I’m something—not quite human.”
The confession hangs on the air between us. I feel a flash of panic that I’m out on this boat with him and Charlotte, miles from the shore. It flares and fades, like a guttering candle, but Rowan still jerks his gaze up to meet mine and says, “Don’t be afraid of me.”
“I’m no—” I cut myself off under the intensity of his eyes. There he is, my Nameless. “I’m not,” I finish weakly.
“You are a little.” Rowan’s gaze never leaves mine. “This is what I mean. I can sense things, Abi. I can tell when you’re afraid or when you’re happy. I can track scents, like a dog.That’show I was able to find you.”
I stare at him, a kind of hollowness in my chest. Of course I had wondered about that when I was tucked away in Rowan’s bed, still trying to process what exactly had happened. But then,he was Nameless. And Nameless always knew how to appear when I needed him most.
But now, out here on the ocean, the waves lapping against the side of the catamaran with a soft, rhythmic slapping, I feel it—that sense that I’m looking at a predator. I felt it before, and I assumed it was because he’s a killer. Now, though…
Now, I’m not so sure.
“I know it sounds insane.” He moves closer so that our knees bump. “And I honestly don’t know what it means, really. Just that—I’ve always known, my whole life, there’s something different about me. I thought it was because I—you know.” He gives me a sheepish grin, and I ought to feel that panic again, but I don’t. Because I know, more than anything, that he’ll neveryou knowme. “And Charlotte’s gonna help me figure things out. There are others, like me.”
Rowan’s grip tightens. His eyes gleam.
“I just hope,” he says softly. “That you’ll be with me as I figure things out. I really like—” He hesitates, shakes his head. “No, I love you, Abi. I’ve loved you from the moment you first came to Rosado, and I haven’t stopped.”
My breath catches in my throat. I stare at him as the sea wind blows his hair across his eyes, as he watches me. A killer. And maybe something else—some inhuman monster that can move out of the shadows and track me down when I’m in danger.
And he loves me.
The thing is, I can feel it, too, that love. I feel it pumping like blood through my body. It’s almost indistinguishable from madness—the madness that makes my body heat at death and darkness. The madness I’ve always tucked away, and only let loose when Nameless came into my home and drew it out of me with his touch.
Not Nameless. Rowan.
I pull my hand away from his to cup his face. Hisactualface. I want to feel the skin and muscle and bone there, not rubber.
He’s showing himself to me. And I’ve shown myself to him.
I lean forward and kiss him, as gently as the first time he kissed me. My heart pounds. I suspect I’m condemning myself to some kind of hell, but I don’t care. Not with Rowan at my side.
“I think I love you, too,” I whisper against his mouth. “No matter what you are.”
He smiles. I feel it more than I see it.
And then he’s kissing me in earnest, drawing me into his chest, and I know I will happily fall into whatever darkness he lays out for me.
EPILOGUE
ABI
