Page 204 of Scent to the Feral Cowboys
Through the gaps in the barn roof, I could see the sky had deepened from bright blue to dusky purple. We must have spent the entire day lost in each other, moving from one pairing to another, sometimes all of us tangled together in ways I hadn't thought physically possible. Time had dissolved into meaningless increments measured only by waves of pleasure. Now the minutes were flowing back into place. Ticking towards something I didn’t know how to face.
The conversation I had to have with my men.
The one that would make me stay or force me to go.
I shifted again, carefully extricating my arm from beneath Wyatt's weight. He made a small sound of protest but didn't wake. Carefully, I disentangled myself from the web of limbs, pausing each time one of my Alphas stirred. When I’d reclaimed both arms and legs, I turned my body slightly on my side, trying to wriggle down a narrow channel and then over a set of muscledthighs. Every movement I made highlighted different tender spots, artifacts of our sexual marathon. When I finally stood, free of the trap that I’d choose again in a heartbeat, I felt oddly light.
For a moment, I simply stood there, naked and unashamed, looking down at the five men sprawled across the rough blankets. The fading light painted their bodies in soft shadows.How did I end up here? What made me deserve them? Was this my reward for all the bullshit I’d endured?
They were exquisitely handsome, all of them, in ways that went beyond the physical. I'd never thought I could feel this way about more than one person, let alone five. I’d always thought I’d never find what my grandparents had. Yet here I was, my heart expanding to accommodate them.
What would our story be?
What would we tell at social gatherings about meeting?
I’d always loved when my grandparents talked about how they’d met, even if they fudged the story a little.
“I was in Seattle, and they were in Wyoming. I got on a plane to them and never looked back.”
We could keep it simple.
Omitting the muddier details.
I frowned.
Knowing this all might still go wrong.
Because if I asked for what I needed, and they couldn’t give it to me, then this was over. I couldn’t compromise, not about this.
I turned away, needing to collect myself, and padded barefoot across the barn floor. My toes curled against the wooden planks, and I realized with a start that they were clean. The last time I'd been in here, dust had coated everything, no matter how many times I’d swept. Now, though still worn with age, the floor had been swept and even appeared to have been mopped in places.
Curious, I moved deeper into the barn, my eyes adjusting to the dimmer light away from the windows.The windows…
I turned around, realizing that they too, once coated in thick layers of grime, had been wiped down. Not perfectly, the glass was still streaked in places, but light flowed into the barn with less opposition.
My head slowly rotated back to gaze into the shadow depths of the barn. I’d moved things out of my way to make a dance floor, haphazardly shifting and stacking, but someone had organized everything with far more care and effort than I’d done. They’d tried to make this place better for me.
My eyes took in the details I’d missed while lost in the haze of heat and desperate need, and my throat tightened, emotions overtaking me.
A sweet ache bloomed in my chest, spreading outward until I felt it in my fingertips. They’d cleaned this place without expectations. They’d cleaned it without telling me.
Once, my value was tied into talent.
I danced well, Imperial paid well.
After that, I existed within a world of transactional relationships. Alphas paid for the fantasy of me.
But this was an act of service offered without expectation, and that cut through my defenses like nothing else could have.
My eyes burned. I blinked back moisture.
I didn’t want to cry. I wanted to be happy. Iwashappy.
When I was happy, I danced. I didn’t shed tears.
It deserved dance.
I moved to the center of the open space, my bare feet finding the smoothest section of floor. My body felt both leaden and buoyant, exhausted from hours of lovemaking yet somehow energized. I lifted my arms, feeling the air cool against my naked skin, and rose to relevé, balancing on the balls of my feet as naturally as breathing.
