Page 182 of Scent to the Feral Cowboys
Wyatt stood at the front, his broad shoulders nearly filling the doorway. His green eyes searched mine with an intensity that made my skin flush hot, then cold. The muscle in his jaw twitched, a tell I’d noticed meant he was fighting for control.
Beside him, Wade shifted his weight from foot to foot, unable to stay still. His eyes darted to my face, then away, then back again, as if he couldn't decide whether looking at me would make things better or worse.
Cooper stood slightly behind the twin brothers, his normally bright smile subdued, the corners of his mouth tight with tension. He lifted a to-go mug towards me, pushing it through the narrow gap between Wyatt and Wade.
"Time to fuel up," he said, the teasing note in his voice muted today.
“For?” What were they up to?
“Oh, just a surprise,” Cooper shrugged.
Levi and Boone were furthest away, closer to the living room doorway. Both their gazes were locked onto me. Lavender eyes. Warmest dark brown. Their expressions were unreadable.
On closer inspection, as the noxious air in the hallway dissipated a little into the bedroom behind me and I could think a little clearer, I noticed that none of the men looked like they’d slept well. Bags under their eyes. Rumpled clothes.Faces one shade lighter than they should be, even Boone’s. Had they all stayed awake too? Had their minds been plagued with questions?
I took the mug from Cooper, cradling it between my palms. It was oh-so-warm, just like these men.
"Thanks," I murmured, taking a sip. He’d made it just how I liked it. That little gesture hit me hard. A week here, and this man already knew how I took my coffee. How long had I been with Geoff? Yet, he’d never remembered my favorite flower, my favorite food, my favorite movie. Every time that man bought me something, he’d say, ‘I know it’s your favorite.’ Yet, every single time, the item would turn out to be his preference, never mine.
I lowered the coffee after a second sip, my eyes roving over them, waiting for an explanation. My gaze stopped on Wyatt’s face. He cleared his throat.
"We thought you might want to see a bit more of Wyoming today.”
“You’ll like Pinedale,” Cooper butted in, some of his usual excitement bubbling to the surface, “It’s not huge, but it’s got some great shops, a bakery, and Shorty’s. Oh, we could take you to the Museum of the Mountain Alpha. It’s ridiculously awesome.” He cocked his head to the side, grin spreading. “Or awesomely ridiculous. You’ll have to decide for yourself.”
My mind raced with conflicting thoughts. Going to town with them felt like another step deeper into this life, when I was trying so hard to convince myself I should leave Sagebrush.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," I said finally. "With everything that's happening..."
"It's just a drive, Nelly," Boone’s voice flowed to us from where he stood. “Just a drive, not the end of the world.”
Not the end of the world.
Grandpa’s words came back to me.
Not the end oftheworld but going with these men might signal the end of a world.
My world back in Seattle. My world before Sagebrush.
"We just want you to see," Levi spoke now, his words measured as always, "that staying here doesn't mean being trapped. Pinedale's not far. And there’s so much natural beauty to explore.”
“I could take you to Wind River,” Boone added, voice thick with emotion, “to see where I grew up.”
I understood their intentions, that they wanted to prove choosing Sagebrush didn’t mean isolation and imprisonment, and that I could still be myself here. It was thoughtful. Considerate. And somehow that made my decision harder rather than easier. I stared down at the coffee, not knowing what to say to them.
"Just a few more days," Wyatt said, the emotion in his voice making me look up sharply. His green eyes held mine, vulnerable in a way they’d never been before. "A little more time to be around you.”
Five pairs of eyes watched me, five scents surrounded me, five hearts seemed to beat in sync with my own. I clutched the mug tighter, squeezing so hard I thought I might crack the ceramic. I didn’t think I had the strength to keep telling myself that these men, this place, weren't mine to claim.
"Okay," I agreed, unable to say more, the single word falling from my lips like surrender.
The tension in the hallway broke like a fever, all five men exhaling in unison. Smiles bloomed around me, guileless and genuine.
"Great," Cooper said, practically bouncing on his toes. "We'll let you get dressed. Breakfast in fifteen? I made a chocolate chip Dutch baby!”
I nodded. My body felt the pull of their pleasure that I’d agreed, but my rational mind scolded me for weakness. As I closed the door and leaned against it, listening to their retreating footsteps and murmured conversation, I couldn't bring myself to regret giving them, and myself, a little more time. It was a temporary stay of execution. A few more days to see if what I felt for these men, for this place, was strong enough to risk building yet another new life.
‘You already know the answer, idiot.’The voice in my head scolded.
