Page 155 of Scent to the Feral Cowboys
She made herself smaller, folding limbs and arms and legs.
And then, most devastating of all, moments of pure joy took over.
Jumps that bathed her body in golden shafts of light slipping through roof damage. Lovely spins she managed despite the shitty, splintering floor.
My throat burned as I watched her, every instinct in my body screaming to go to her. But I remained frozen. This wasn't about me. It wasn't about any of us. This was Nelly's moment, Nelly's healing, Nelly's private reclamation of her identity. All I could do was bear witness.
Her movements began to change, subtly at first, then more noticeably. The explosive energy that had driven her dancestarted to ebb, her leaps becoming shorter, her turns slower. She paused in the center of her cleared space, chest rising and falling with exertion, a small furrow appearing between her brows. Her head tilted slightly, like a deer catching a distant sound.
She'd finally sensed us. I held my breath, waiting for the anger, the accusation, the sense of violation that would surely follow.Please understand we had to watch you. Please know we couldn’t help ourselves.
Nelly turned, as if in slow motion, her eyes squinting to pierce the dimness of the barn's shadowy corners. "Hello?" Her voice was surprisingly steady, carrying easily through the quiet barn. "Is someone there?"
None of us answered. None of us moved. We were all caught in our own guilt, unsure if we should retreat as fast as possible, or admit we were here.
She took a few steps forward, pulling deep breaths into her lungs.
"How long have you guys been watching?" The question wasn't accusatory, as I'd expected. Instead, it held a note of curiosity, perhaps even a hint of amusement. As if she'd caught children with their hands in the cookie jar rather than grown men invading her privacy. I could feel my brothers' confusion mirroring my own—we'd expected anger, outrage, the fiery defiance that had marked most of our interactions with Nelly. Not this calm question, this almost gentle acknowledgment of our presence.
She turned again, this time directly toward the spot where I stood. Though I knew she couldn't see me clearly through the small opening, her eyes seemed to precisely target mine. The corner of her mouth quirked up in what might have been the beginning of a smile.
"I know you're there," she said, her voice softer now, almost intimate. "I can smell you guys."
Of course she could. Our Alpha scents had intensified to the point where we’d announced our presence as surely as if we'd shouted it out loud. We couldn't hide anymore, and we didn’twantto hide anymore.
We all seemed to take one, big, collective breath and then we moved toward the barn entrance.
Walking into the time-worn space, we were able to see all of Nelly, not just bits and pieces through inadequate peepholes.
She stood in the center of her cleared space, arms crossed over her chest, sweat glistening on her skin. She seemed to sparkle, like every drop of moisture on her body was a diamond. Her cheeks were deeply flushed, whether from exertion or emotion I couldn't tell. But the gold-green depths of her eyes were steadier than they’d been since she stepped off that plane. It’s funny how a person’s eyes can shift as they’re world view shifts. It’s like the old saying, ‘eyes are the windows to the soul’. I’d seen ever feeling in the book in Nelly’s eyes. Resistance. Grief. Anger. Hope. Lust. Now, something softer had settled into the iris and it made me feel encouraged.
"Next time," she said as we filed into the barn, five chastened Alphas caught in an act of voyeurism, "you could just ask to watch."
I’d never thought to ask her permission, because I’d known she wouldn’t say, ‘yes’. Yet, here she was telling me watching her and being near her and loving her, was one question away.
She looked at each of us in turn, taking in our expressions of surprise and wonder and unspoken longing. "Your faces," she said, shaking her head. "You look like I’ve just told you the world is flat, and all the cows fell off the edge."
"Something like that," Wade murmured from beside me, his voice thick with emotion.
“And nothing like that,” Boone added.
Nelly's smile faded slightly, replaced by a thoughtful expression as she continued to study us. "So now you know," she said simply.
"Know what?" Cooper asked, unable to contain himself any longer.
She gestured around the barn, at the space she'd created, at the lingering energy of her dance still vibrating in the air between us. "This is who I am. Who I was. Who I wanted to be again, even if it meant stripping." Her chin lifted slightly, that familiar defiance returning. "Not just an Omega. Not just a body to be bought and sold. This."
The declaration hung in the air, a challenge and an offering rolled into one. I found myself nodding, words still beyond my grasp, my throat too tight to speak.
"You're beautiful when you dance,” Boone said, his deep voice unusually soft. “You were born to do it.”
A flush spread across Nelly's cheeks at his words, but she didn't look away. "Yes, I know.”
We stood in a circle of sunlight, surrounded by the remnants of her past and Sagebrush’s past. I wondered if the others contemplated the uncertain promise of our joint future.
For the first time since Nelly’s arrival, my hope outweighed my doubt.
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