Page 62 of The Friendship Variable
I have a sudden memory of Shawna making a comment to us at graduation two years ago. She thought Ryan and I were dating. I brushed it off, laughing that I had a boyfriend, and she was SO embarrassed.
Now I wonder if she’s known something this whole time.
“You had the baby at home, right?” I say, desperate to change the subject. “That sounds crazy.”
Shawna nods and presses her lips together. “She was born at home. But she had a little difficulty breathing, so we had to take an ambulance to the hospital. She was in the NICU for two days.”
“Oh, Shawna! I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” All this imagining myself in her shoes makes that piece of information seem even more distressing. I reach out and touch her arm gently. “That must have been so scary.”
Her eyes well with instant tears, but she looks up to the ceiling and shakes her head slightly as if to push them away. “Sorry. Postpartum hormones are wild. I cry all the time.” She laughs lightly.
I rub her arm. “Don’t apologize. It’s something I’m learning, too.”
She looks at me, and as she blinks, a single tear falls from her eye. “Thank you. That helps me feel a little less crazy.”
“You’re not crazy. Do you want to talk about it?”
She shrugs a shoulder. “Not really. I try not to dwell on it, because everything turned out okay, you know? Of all the possible NICU scenarios, it was the best way it could have happened. The doctors and nurses were incredible. She just needed some extra oxygen, and then everything was fine. And I’m so grateful we were able to stay with her the whole time.”
“We?” I ask. “Your husband, too?”
She nods. “Joshua came with me. My parents watched the three older kids while we were in the hospital. My mother-in-law stayed here at the house and visited the hospital to bring whatever we needed. We are really blessed with an amazing family.”
That’s something I can relate to. I have no doubt in my mind that my parents and Zach’s parents would jump in however needed if we were in that type of situation.
As if hearing his name, Joshua walks through the front door. He’s handsome for a dad in his late thirties, with blond hair and a short beard.
“Hi, ladies,” he calls softly.
Shawna turns her head toward the door, her face completely lit up at the sound of his voice. “Hey, babe.”
Joshua comes over to the couch and kisses the top of Shawna’s head. His hair looks a little rumpled, and I’m sure he’s exhausted with a new baby and all the other kids. But if he’s tired, he doesn’t let it show as he gazes at his newborn baby girl and sighs. “You doing okay? Need anything?”
Shawna shakes her head, and Joshua looks at me expectantly.
“Oh, no,” I answer. “I’m fine. I just came by to drop off dinner and I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes.”
“No rush,” Shawna says. She looks up at Joshua. “I was just telling her about the hospital.”
Joshua blows out a breath and gives a resigned grin. “That was rough. But we made it through.”
“We did.” She looks up at him, adoration in her eyes.
He runs the back of his fingers down her cheek, holding her gaze for another moment. “Lemme get you some more water,” he says. He reaches for her giant reusable water bottle and knocks it off the table. “Yikes, sorry.”
Shawna chuckles as he picks up the bottle and heads into the kitchen, leaving us alone. “He’s so tired. But he’s really the best.”
“He seems great,” I agree. I have to admit, I admire the way she still looks at him after the years they’ve been together. She reminds me of a teenager, completely smitten with her crush.
I would love to feel that way about my husband after that many years.
I’d love to feel that way about my fiancé.
“He’s been my rock through all of this,” she says. “I was a mess at the hospital, just sobbing about how we were supposed to be home. And the whole time, he kept telling me we were doing the right thing by getting her the help she needed, and soon we’d be home with her. I didn’t believe him at the time, but he was right.” She smiles, lost in the memory. “We took turns holding her all night long, skin-to-skin, and eventually her breathing evened itself out. He handled the doctors and made sure we got a space where we could be with her.”
“You guys seem perfect for each other,” I say.
“I think so,” she agrees. “Don’t get me wrong, we argue sometimes. We haveverydifferent personalities. He’s an extrovert, and I’m a major introvert. I’d rather stay home on the weekends, and he loves being with friends. But he builds me up where I lack, and the other way around.”
