Page 90 of The Tsarina's Favorite
Love was definitely a precious commodity between nobles.And even if you were fortunate enough to have it, as I had been, the price could be dear, which I also found out.
“Are you a prince, Kaylay?Is that why you’re so unique?”
“No,” I said honestly.I hadn’t been reinstated.I wasn’t a prince.Not anymore.“I’m an amusement.”
“So you aren’t Finist the Falcon or the keeper of a scarlet flower?If you tell me that you are a prince in the Otherlands, I won’t be surprised.”
Like the creature of the scarlet flower, I did not want her looking at me too closely.Not that I thought she ever looked that closely at me when I was Mikhail, but if she saw me, truly saw me as that unknown woman had, Alaina would leave me too.
“I am Kaylay, not Finist,” I said, “and I have no magic rings or flowers, scarlet or otherwise.”
“But you gave me one of your feathers,” she said.“And here you are, with me every night.Is that what I need to do, Kaylay — agree to marry you?”
“I would never ask so high a price as marriage.”
“I would never be at liberty to give you such a price if you demanded it.Only the tsarina could form such a match while I am here in Ilyichia.”
“Or your brother, if you were in Altania?”
“I am above the age of needing his consent.”
“Then you might agree on your own behalf?”I asked, more than a little surprised.“I hope not.You should not sell yourself so cheaply.”
“Well, no,” she said.Then she added, “But I would still be open to being wooed.”
I didn’t know how to take that statement, which should have been spoken more like a confession, and yet, she said it proudly, boldly, no trace of shame.
“Are you absolutely sure you’re not one of these folklore legends?”she asked again.“I think you would make a fine candidate.”
“I’m supposedly the firebird.Or have you forgotten?”
“Oh yes!Tell me about the firebird?”
“The firebird doesn’t have its own story.It’s just a device to tell the stories of others, much like I will be when biographers write about you, if I am mentioned at all.”
“You might be a little too fantastical for anyone dull enough to write a biography about me.I’m just a little princess in a country that doesn’t want me but refuses to give me up.”
“The tsarina was a little princess too, in Talvia, once, and now she wields more power and influence than most monarchs.”I gazed up at Alaina, reassessing, and then I nodded.“There is greatness in you.I can see it plainly.I think there was greatness in her too, but she let bitterness gnaw it away.”
“Maybe she wouldn’t have, if she had her own Kaylay to remind her who she was in Talvia.”
“You need to remember the lessons you learned here when you are queen of Altania.Don’t rule as she does.There’s a reason they call her The Terrible even while she lives.”
Alaina blushed, betraying her knowledge of the tsarina’s nickname.
“She pulled me aside today,” Alaina said, her voice a whisper.“She wanted to know why I keep bringing you to entertainments.”
Had that woman who recognized me that night said something to the tsarina?Was talk circulating, enough that even the tsarina took notice?
“I told her that, ordinarily, I wouldn’t, but she seemed to have made such strides in training you that I was confident you could be trusted to join me without disruption.She keeps telling me to take care of you, and yet, when I do it, I don’t think she likes it.”
“She wants to be the only one to command my obedience.”I sighed and settled my head on Alaina’s lap.“I’m sorry if I’ve made things more difficult between you.Maybe you shouldn’t bring me anymore.”
“But you enjoy it!”She stroked my head gently.“And I don’t want anyone else’s company but yours, even if we cannot speak in public.”
“If she questioned you today, she is going to want to reassert her power over me soon, even if it’s just a few hours, to remind me of my true master.”
“Do you think she would take you away from me?”Alaina’s hand stilled.“I couldn’t bear that.”
