Page 49 of The Tsarina's Favorite
Princess Alaina and I had locked eyes once, after her failed petition, after she advocated for me, after she had come to my rescue.And we had been worlds apart in that audience chamber, separated by arbitrary titles and social standing, but at our cores, we were identical: two isolated people owned by the tsarina.I had cared about her in that moment, wishing I had any ability to protect her from the malice of our owner.And, despite all, she had cared about me too.
Somewhere in this spoiled, indulged, naive, and petulant child, kindness and empathy existed, even if she never wanted anyone to see them.They made my decision for me.
“You wouldn’t have to be so alone,” I whispered, “if you were but a little kinder to one who has never done you ill.”
A long silence followed.
“Did you—?That’s impossible.”
I awkwardly sat up, better at using my wings for leverage now with familiarity and the return of their strength since no one had seen fit to allow me the use of my hands yet.I turned in her direction to acknowledge that, yes, I was addressing her.And yes, I could.
Skirts rustled as she approached me.She did not stop very near, likely at the edge of the shelter, but her voice shook.“You...You can understand me.”
“I wish I did not,” I told her.
“How was I to know?”
“If the tsarina kicks you, do you kick her dogs in retaliation, just because you can?”
“No, of course not!”Her voice betrayed her deep offense.
“Then why me?”
“I....I don’t know.”
“Is it because there might be consequences for cruelty towards the things the tsarina cares about?”
“I heard that you harmed several of the soldiers.One even died.Cruelty towards you is not without potential consequences.”
No one had told me that one of the guards had died.That might explain why no one else had come to torment me — fear of being harmed too.Small mercies.
“That was in self-defense.”Not that it did any good.“And now I am bound and blinded and rendered helpless.Do you like to torment helpless things?”
“I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing,” she said.“I’m just frustrated and angry, and no one listens to me, and I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“While I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy in your circumstances, I do not deserve the words you hear from others.”
That silenced her.
“Like you,” I told her after a moment, “I have no choice in being here.”
“No, I don’t suppose you do.”
After another long stretch of silence during which she was likely figuring out how to make her escape from this awkward development, she asked, “Do you possess the power to send me home?”
“If I had that power, I would send you home with such speed, others might get carried along with you.”
“Have I made myself that much of a nuisance to you?”she asked, an undercurrent of amusement in her voice.
“Indeed,” I assured her.“I thought such was your aim.”
“I am sorry.I never intended to cause hurt or distress.”
“On the grounds that you apologized, I am willing to fulfill your second wish.I am not much of a companion kept like this, but if you can keep a civil tongue, you do not have to be alone.”
“I would like that,” she confessed.“Although, if that means I must flatter you instead, I am incapable of doing it sufficiently.You appear an evil, ugly creature, and I admit, I am frightened by all of this.”
“There is nothing to be done about how I appear to you.But between us, you have been the evil one to malign me so.You may come and sit or read as you wish.I am under no obligation to give you my thoughts or my words.”
