Page 36 of The Tsarina's Favorite
“Would you like us to stay with you?”
“That will be unnecessary.”
The echoes of boots drifted away and all again returned to silence.
After a prolonged quiet, the empress harrumphed.
“I’m disappointed,” she said.“I thought you would be raging at me by now.I suppose I shouldn’t have raised my hopes.The guards tell me you gave them almost no challenge at all.”
I could barely form thoughts.How could I rally enough to scratch her with words?
I fought to push myself upright and find her so that I could address her properly.As I did so, my hands came into view.I now wore black feathered gloves with long hooked talons.The black feathers extended up the backs of my fingers, hands, and arms.I groaned, not with pain but with frustration.What ridiculous costume had the tsarina chosen for me this time?
“That’s why you haven’t protested,” she said.“You haven’t seen.”
Another bird outfit then.Worse than before if she expected my fury.
I took long, measured breaths.I refused to break in front of her.I could nurse wounds later and address my much-abused pride in solitude.But now, I needed to stay together.
I hastily assessed the situation: a black feathered suit this time.And she had shoved me back into the loathsome beak mask.The sores on my nose and around my mouth from prior wear barely registered in the wake of my other pains.My suit, though fluffed with feathers, was not padded.
My head throbbed.Still, I managed to keep my panic in check.“What do you intend to do with me?”
“Why, my dear, I intend to keep you as my beloved pet.”
“More nest sitting?More public squawking?”I snorted and pushed myself onto my knees.“Your court has already seen it, ma’am.”I turned to the doorway where she stood behind the barred window.I had long been empty of shame and horror.She had wrung it all out of me.“I fear we are all bored.”
“Fear not,” she said, a smile creeping into her voice.“I found a way to make it more exciting.If not for the court, at least for me.”
I narrowed my eyes at her.I did not see how much worse it could get.
“Then do it and leave.Surely, you have better things to do than waste your time on me.”
“It is done,” she said.“I was rather hoping you would have figured that out by now.As I said, disappointing.I wanted your arms to become your wings, but alas, I am as subject to the magic of The Kind and Fair as any of us.”
Wings?Magic?
My nausea welled up as I turned my head.If the tsarina had not mentioned wings, I would have doubted my senses.Black feathered appendages loomed over the equally feathered crest of my shoulder.I reached to touch one of the alien limbs.Despite the lightness of the touch, it radiated down my back.
It couldn’t be.
I withdrew my hand as if the wing burned.My back still did.
They were part of me.And if the wings were part of me....If everything was a part of me....
Another wave of nausea passed over me.
The tsarina’s low chuckle echoed off the walls.
“What have you done to me?”I stared up at her, too stunned for the tears I would shed later.
“I won our game.”The tsarina’s mouth twisted into a triumphant smirk.“You told my ladies that an evil witch cast a spell on you.If I am to be accused, I may as well do the deed.And so I, through The Kind and Fair, gave you ugliness you cannot remove.”
“I’m....”Numb horror sent tremors down my limbs.I needed to discover the extent of my terrible circumstances, but I couldn’t bear to do it in front of her.“You’ve made me....”
“I couldn’t get an actual firebird,” she lamented, “so I had to make one myself.”
My chest convulsed.My throat tightened.I nearly stopped breathing.I couldn’t break.I couldn’t.Not now.Not in front of her.Later.I would do it later.Whatever else, I couldn’t give her my moment of breaking.She had taken everything else from me, and I refused to give her that final satisfaction.
