Page 115 of The Tsarina's Favorite
Alaina took a glance around at our audience and returned her attention to me.
“Kaylay?”
“I’m here.”I squeezed her.“I have you.”
“I couldn’t do this alone.”
“If you had to, you could.”I put my cheek on top of her head.“We learn things about ourselves in trial.You’re so much stronger than you think.”
“I don’t feel strong,” she admitted.“I feel pathetic and weak.”
“You’re not.You and the tsarina have been through the same trials, the same exile, and the same court derision.In her elevation, she has let her bitterness rule.You will not surrender to the petty cruelties that have twisted her.You do not have that in you.Not now.Not when you have your throne.”
“If I get my throne.I am so afraid,” she confessed.“I know I have reason to be afraid, but that is not what bothers me most.”
“What then?”
“I hate that they’re all staring.I hate feeling so ashamed, especially when I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done.”
“They’re staring at me,” I told her.“None of these people have seen a firebird before, remember?They probably haven’t seen Ivan before either.Can you imagine how fantastical this must be to all of them?”
“I still feel their stares.”
“True,” I agreed.“They may never have seen a real-life princess before either, but — and I apologize — I feel like a princess pales in comparison to an elephant and a firebird.”
“You’re probably right, as much as I hate to admit it,” she said, giving me a smile although she mustered it up from the depths.“Is there a plan, or is the plan just to survive?”
“From here to the palace, we are under lock and guard, and will not have an opportunity to escape into the crowd.From there, I know not what is in store.”
The wind howled around the bars, and I spread my wings to keep it from reaching us.I couldn’t feel my feet by now, and I tucked my right leg up behind my left.My left hand too, still holding Alaina and exposed, began to lose sensation as I buried it in the folds of her coat.
“We will have to escape the palace then,” she mused.“Even with guards, there will be no crowds tonight.No one will wish to be out in such chill.”
“If we wait until the small hours, our guards will also not be at their best.”
“So, morning, we make our escape?”She gazed out over the heads of the onlookers, getting her bearings.“Fortunate for us that the palace sits along the river.We can follow it to port.”
What kind of captain would give fare to a bedraggled princess and her strange pet?Surely, no sane one.Perhaps, I contented myself, she would not have a strange pet in tow because I would have fulfilled my purpose by then.
“Alaina, if I should die—”
“No,” she said.“No.I won’t hear of it.I’m going to live, and so are you.Do you understand me?”
“Yes.We will both live,” I repeated.“But, if I should not—”
“Stop.Please.”
“Alaina.”I waited a few moments to see if she would speak over me again.“I need to ask a favor of you.And as you say, I will not need it.But still, please listen to me?”
She glared at me, but she remained quiet.
“When we escape,” when, not if, because if it came to my last wish or her survival, I needed her to choose her survival, “and when we make it to safety, if I should take ill or it looks like I may not make it, I want two things.I would like you to have my collar removed, and I would like to be wearing my wedding band.”
She shifted out of my grasp, took her place on the opposite stool, and grabbed at me so that she could see my left hand.My bare left hand.
“Oh, Kaylay, did she take it?”
“I didn’t trust her not to.I have it tied into my wristband.”I pulled out the ties with a talon to show her the glint of gold.“See that it finds its way onto my finger if I cannot do it myself.”
