Page 113 of The Tsarina's Favorite
“I will.”I cast him a glance but kept my attention on our officiant.“With all my heart.”
The cord bearer stepped forward and began wrapping our hands with the satin.After several loops and passes, he tied the ends together, binding us before all assembled.
“I offer to Ilyichia this formal union.May their sacrifice please The Kind and Fair.”
I didn’t look up to see how the tsarina reacted to our marriage.I didn’t look behind us to see how the courtiers behaved in the wake of Alaina’s quiet disgrace.I didn’t even look to Klessa or Drook for their support and approval.I had no thought for anyone but my wife.
My wife.
She gazed up at me, thoughtful and sincere, perhaps having the same moment of incredulity as I.For she now had a husband again.
“I am sorry, my lady,” I told her.
“Kaylay, whatever for?”
“Even in marriage, I still cannot give you a happy ending.”
“I don’t need a wonder tale to be happy.”She reached out with her unbound hand and tugged me down to her.She kissed my brow and then released me.“I just need you.”
XXXIII.
The guards split thecrowds for us, holding back the nobles as they made way for our small wedding party.Although the binding of my hand to Alaina’s ensured that we would not separate in the crowd, she clung to my arm.Her serenity, so perfect and unshakable at the head of the room, crumbled when faced with the harsher reality of our situation.Even Drook and Klessa, bearing the brunt of the staring as they made the way for us, did not loosen Alaina’s hold on me.
While I had spent nearly a year becoming accustomed to derision and humiliation from those around me, Alaina had not done this before.I patted her hand on my arm, told her to breathe as Drook had once instructed me, and promised she was not alone.Klessa even fell back to let Drook lead alone while she took up position on Alaina’s other side, shielding her from the crowd physically during that long march to the hall’s main doors.
The blast of freezing air from the courtyard when the doors were thrown open gave Alaina another moment of collection.She released her death-grip on my arm, glanced up to Klessa and smiled, a show of gratitude she had not yet found a way to verbalize.
Outside, more guards greeted us, although they were our sole reception with the courtiers still within the ceremonial space and the common throng outside the courtyard gate.The processional line-up itself, just inside the gate and waiting to be ushered out into the city, offered no reassurance.The participants had no thought for us, although Alaina and I were to be a hilarious focal point for the tsarina’s subjects.
A guard came over and unbound our hands.Several others, loaded with furs and coats, followed behind, handing cloaks and coats to Drook, Klessa, and Alaina, followed by hats and gloves.Nothing was offered to me.
“He will be out in the cold like the rest of us,” Klessa pointed out to one of the soldiers when she realized the oversight.“He needs something too.”
“It has feathers,” was the reply from the disinterested guard who walked off so that he would no longer be subject to complaints.
“It matters not,” I assured her.“Nothing fits over the wings.”
