Page 20 of The Tsarina's Favorite
VII.
Idid not venture everynight, certain that if I tread upon their genial company so frequently, they may no longer tolerate me.I had already been ejected and shunned from those I had once thought friends.I did not think I could bear it if I somehow misstepped and alienated myself from an even finer group of people.And yet, I could not keep away, desperate to have any conversation that kept my mind away from my own miseries.
I amused them too, not as I did with the tsarina and her courtiers, but with genuine fascination that I, someone they had only known from afar and by reputation, found their companionship pleasurable.
Most of them were not just literate but well-read, women included, and their philosophical debates bordered on the genius much the way their amusements for the tsarina bordered on the infantile.Politics, perhaps unsurprisingly, always maintained a prominent position in their discussions, and although most of the time I just wrapped my arms around the padded costume and listened, occasionally they asked for my input as someone who had possessed intimate knowledge of the highest ranks of nobility.My contributions, though less than insightful and painfully naive from my years of having to be unconcerned with most of the politics of Ilyichia, always received gratitude.
“The stones they throw down at us come from the pile upon which they sit,” Drook declared one night.
“It’s a never-ending supply of stones though,” a man grumbled.
“That’s a fantasy they’ve told themselves that’s completely unsustainable.One day, they will topple, and it will all be because they were too stupid to see how they themselves undermined their positions.What ultimate good or service does it offer to have a title?Even the lowliest serf has greater value than the highest prince.”Drook remembered himself and added in my direction, “Sorry, Kvasnik, but it’s true.”
I opened my eyes and raised my hands, palms to him.“No offense taken.You may be half my size, but you are double my worth.I find myself privileged to be among the true intelligentsia of Ilyichia.”Trokei handed me a vodka and I downed it.“Do go on.”
“Don’t encourage him,” Agara complained to me.“We have to hear this every night.It’s fun to gripe occasionally, and I am as tired of the current situation as anyone, but every night?Who wants to play a game of cards?”
“I could do with some music,” one of the group suggested instead.
“A bawdy song?”
One of the men rose from the cushions to take his place on a harpsichord bench.
“Something we can dance to,” Klessa demanded as she rose from her cushion and stood in front of her husband.“Hush your lectures and work your legs as hard as your mouth.”
As others partnered up, I stood from my own cushion as everyone who anticipated participating in the dancing began moving furniture out of the way to make space at the end of the room.I stepped off to the side to watch, eager to resume a quiet position again.
“You have no partner,” Agara said beside me and then added with a smile in her voice, “and I just so happen to be free.”
I looked at the diminutive woman and admired her forthrightness.“There are many others here who would make a far better partner than I.”
“I’ve always wanted to dance with a prince.”
“I can make your introductions to one who still bears his titles.”
“I know everyone at court.”She held her hand out for me to take.“There are none as pretty as you.”
“If you’re sure,” I said, taking it, “then I would be delighted.”
“You are a little tall for my taste, but I won’t hold it against you.”
She led me over to the side of the makeshift dance floor, music already inspiring other couples to dance.And not in the typically courtly way.The boldness of the moves, the proximity of the bodies, the liveliness of the music reminded me of Varnasian country dances, the ones I shared with Irena when we danced in the street to musicians playing for the coins of passersby or in private in the foyer of our rented house.
Great Holy, I missed her.And thank the Powers That Be that she couldn’t see what had become of me.Although she might have loved me anyway.
“None of your silly stately court dancing though,” Agara warned.“You’ll embarrass me if you do a minuet to a jig.”
“I would never,” I assured her.I let her hand go and then bowed slightly at the waist in her direction.“Might I have the honor of this dance?”
