Page 15 of The Tsarina's Favorite
“Something else being mistaken for the bird of myth.Or maybe the Otherland creature is real and so too are The Kind and Fair.But magic usually goes partnered with roses, and I have never seen a rose, not even in Ilyichia.Still, I am open to being proven wrong.”He canted his head at me.“You don’t believe in The Kind and Fair or magic either, except that you had to make it official.”
“I am a convert to the Great Holy, if that’s what you mean.”
“That’s the reason the tsarina punished you.”
“One of them.”I did not want to discuss it.“I don’t know that I believe in anything anymore.Or that I ever did.But I can still appreciate a well-told tale and a finely crafted poem.I need no titles or spiritual belief for that.”
“I don’t know much about the Great Holy, but....”He faltered.After a moment, he tried again.“If you lack spiritual conviction, why not recant?”
“Because that won’t fix anything.And, at this point, she may dictate what I do, what I wear, how I am treated, but I refuse to give her sovereignty over my soul.That, if nothing else, is mine alone.”
“Fair.”He folded his hands on his lap and glanced around the empty hall.“Would you prefer to be alone?”
“I am always alone now.”
“You don’t have to be.”Drook gestured towards the darkened end of the hall.“If you ever want company of an evening, you should join us.We would have invited you sooner, but none of us thought that you would want to associate with us.And then we thought, maybe it was not that you did not want to, but that you might not know that you could.”
“I appreciate the invite, but I don’t think I can.”
“Why not?”Drook’s brows battered each other.“Are you indeed a chicken chained?”
“No.”
“Then I presume that it is only the confines of shame which bind you.Lose your shame and you are free.”
“Oh yes, why didn’t I think of just not being ashamed?The solution is so easy.”
“Humph.”Drook stared at me, unimpressed.“I didn’t say it was easy.”
“Any tips or tricks?”
“Breathe,” he said.“In.And out.And in again.And out again.You’ll get through it, even when you don’t want to.”
“If it is as you say and it is only shame that sees me trapped, then perhaps I will accept the invitation.Who offers company?”
“We offer company to each other and share meals together.”
“Who does?”I asked again.
“The tsarina’s jesters.”
For one brief moment, all the painful isolation and fear of forever being outcast vanished.I might have been shunned and shamed by my former peers, but the jesters offered me inclusion.
“The tsarina has disgraced me.Are you sure you would not mind having me there?”
“Of course not!”Drook’s eyes shone.“You are one of us now.”
“He’s agreed to joinus!”Drook called out as he opened the door to his apartments.“I knew you would want to see him first though.”
Meticulously furnished with luxurious fabrics and gilt frameworks, the rooms presented as fine as any other courtier’s quarters in the palace.A woman, dressed in a modest but fashionable frock, bent over an embroidery hoop, but as the announcement echoed through the room, she glanced up from her work.And then I wasn’t certain it was a woman because I had never seen a person with such a wealth of facial hair, not just on cheeks and chin but forehead and nose as well.
“Thanks be to The Kind and Fair,” she said as she rose.“I’ve been telling Drook for weeks now that he needed to check on you.”
“Klessa has been worried about you from the start,” Drook explained.
“Why?”I asked.
“Because you’re a prince,” Klessa said.“And you have no survival skills, not in our world.I’m surprised you’ve held up so well.”
