“I’ve got a new one in my car,” Danny says.
 
 “Of course you have,” I say dryly.
 
 “JoBeth located one. I have no idea where she got a hold of it, but it’s better than Randy’s suit.”
 
 I stare at Danny. “Don’t make me do this.” But I know from a lifetime of living with my brother, when he wears that expression, it’s pointless to argue.
 
 “Four visits. That’s all. The tree-lighting ceremony, the hospital, the school, and the Bash.”
 
 “Not the mall out of town?”
 
 “They have their own Santa.”
 
 I bet that Santa isn’t being coerced into it.
 
 “Can’t he do four more visits?”
 
 “He’s an actor. We’d have to pay him.”
 
 I keep my mouth shut.
 
 “We were gonna ask Echo to cover all the events, but he’s out of action now,” Danny continues. “And Randy can’t get back in time.”
 
 “I’d like to point out again, this is a town full of gays…guys…who can be Santa. You don’t have to pick the one man who will hate every second of being in the suit.”
 
 “They work.”
 
 I stare at him, betrayed. “And I don’t? It’s only volunteer work so it’s not important.”
 
 Danny bangs his fist on the table, and everything jumps, including me. “I can’t keep tiptoeing on eggshells around you. Whatever I say will be wrong. Move on, Dean. It’s been twice your lifetime. Marty would have been furious at you for moping this long.”
 
 I glare at him, but I know he’s right. He would have told me what an idiot I was for mourning a ghost.
 
 Danny gives a curt nod as if he knows my thoughts. “We need a Santa, and you’ve been volunteered. Your first gig would normally be tonight, the Tree Lighting Ceremony, but I’ve got alocal celebrity to light the tree. I expect you to be there to support me and wear the Santa hat.”
 
 I stare into my cup. I’ll be there, like I am at every town event, supporting the mayor, hating every moment, wishing Marty was beside me. “I think you should go now,” I say as calmly as I can. I’m exhausted from not fighting with my brother, not breaking down into the screaming tantrum that I want to. There’s no point. He won’t listen.
 
 “It’s over twenty years, Dean, why do you still care?”
 
 Because the minute the semi plowed into us on Christmas Day, it took away my reason for living. For the millionth time I wish it had killed me too.
 
 Chapter Five
 
 Echo
 
 When I wake up, I wish I hadn’t. The phone buzzes annoyingly in my ear.
 
 “Huh?” I manage.
 
 “Echo!”
 
 “No, Gloria, whatever it is, no.”
 
 “Why does everyone say that to me?”
 
 “I have no idea,” I mumble, hoping she gets to the point soon.
 
 “I just called to see how you are. How’s your ankle?”