Page 48 of Ravaged and Ruined
Zoey squeezes my hand and says, “You’ll be back in no time.”
I smile through the ache. “I’ll call you when I get there.”
I hug the girls one last time, their arms all wrapping around me at once like anchors. The moment splinters as Aero steps up beside me, his jaw clenched, his shoulders tight, and ice rolling off him in waves. His hand finds my lower back. His touch isn’t gentle, but it’s not cruel either, just firm. A silent command to move.
Aero leads me out of the clubhouse in silence, although it’s the last thing I want to do. The duffel bag’s digging into my shoulder, packed by hands that once held me like I was something worth losing. Now it feels like I’m being tossed aside.
A prospect leans against the old club van idling at the curb, glancing nervously toward Aero. The ugly, gray one with the dented bumper and rust down the side.
“Don’t stop for anything. Not snacks, not a fucking pee break. If you lose a tire, you push the damn thing. You don’t let her out of your sight until Cobra’s got her.”
The kid nods like his life depends on it. “Yes, sir.”
“You coward.” I stop in my tracks “You're not even taking me yourself?”
The prospect's eyes flicker toward me like he’s not sure whether to feel sorry for me or terrified.
“Get in the van, Lacey.”
“I’m not getting in the van.” I feel sorry for the kid. I don’t even remember his name. Not that it matters anyways. I know Aero picked someone who wouldn’t hesitate to take a bullet before letting me out of his sight.
“The longer you're seen with me the more danger you’re in.” Aero doesn’t look at me. Not even a glance. He’s standing stiff as stone, his arms crossed over his chest. “Now get in the van.”
I shift the bag higher on my shoulder, my feet crunching over gravel as I start to move again.
Before I climb into the passenger seat, I risk a glance back. Aero’s face is a fortress. Cold. Shut down. Like last night neverhappened. Like I didn’t fall asleep against his chest and wake up to find everything ripped out from under me.
“Tell me something, Aero. Do you love me?” I ask, heart punching against my ribs.
His jaw ticks. His fingers curl into fists at his sides. “Dammit Lacey, clocks ticking.”
“Then answer me.”
“You know I want you but it’s not safe for you to be with me.” His eyes meet mine for a brief second.
“Yeah I’ve heard that before every time you get me in bed. You want me, you need me, but do you love me.” His jaw flexes, and for a heartbeat, I think he might give me something, anything. Instead he draws his hand down his reddened face and shakes his head.
“No.”
One word. Cold. Brutal. And it carves a hole through my chest like a blade.
I nod, because what else can I do? Tears burn hot at the back of my eyes, but I won’t let them fall. Not in front of him.
“Fucking liar.” I whisper loud enough for only him to hear and I climb into the van. The door slams shut behind me, and I don’t say a damn word as the engine kicks to life beneath us. But as we drive away, I let one single tear slip free. just one. The only one he gets.
The road hums beneath the tires, a low, steady vibration that does nothing to drown out the chaos in my chest. I sit with my hands fisted in my lap, staring out the grimy window as the clubhouse fades from view.
My throat burns with the scream I won’t let out. My heart is breaking in slow, vicious increments, and still, I don’t make a sound. Because if I do, I’ll unravel.
Everything has changed in the last seventy-two hours and he doesn’t even know. Hell I haven’t even come to terms with it but it’s the reason I fought so damn hard to stay.
I should have told him. Maybe then he wouldn’t be shoving me out of his world like a fucking castoff. Maybe he wouldn’t be standing in the rearview mirror acting like I meant nothing.
I curl tighter around myself, my fingers clenched so hard my nails bite into my skin.
What the hell do I do now?
I rest my forehead against the window, the cool glass shocking against my overheated skin. Another tear slips loose before I can stop it, carving a line through the salt already drying on my cheek.
