Page 7 of Sinful Need
“Are you sure about this? Hawk will be pissed when he can’t find us.”
“I don’t want this night to end. Stay with me for a little while?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
I steal a glance at Jase, my nerves on edge. I know I shouldn’t ask this of him but I’m not ready for what going back will mean for my future. At this moment, with Jase by my side, I’m safe and can pretend I still have my whole life before me.
“Ok.” Jase seems unsure but settles in beside me. He fumbles nervously with his jacket before reaching inside and pulling out a bottle of whiskey, “Might as well go out with a bang.”
Jase takes a swig from the bottle. I haven’t seen this side of him before, his quiet reserve slipping from the alcohol we’ve consumed. His hands subtly tremble as he passes it. Our fingers brush as I reach for the bottle, sending electric shivers down my spine, igniting a fire within me that's impossible to ignore. The air is charged with unspoken possibilities as we continue to share the bottle of whiskey.
The voices below drift away as the music from inside blares. When our eyes meet, they hold for a moment longer than they should, a lingering connection that speaks volumes.
Jase turns toward me, his voice soft and uncertain. "You have a thing for roofs."
I meet his gaze, feeling a rush of emotions. "It's like my own little escape. It's breathtaking, isn't it?"
I lay back and stare up at the canopy of stars, their shimmering light casting a glow over everything. Jase is right beside me, our shoulders almost touching.
"I've never seen so many stars.”
I steal a glance at him from the corner of my eye, his eyes reflecting the starlight. "I'm glad we're here together.”
"Me too.”
“Have you ever been with a girl, Jase?” I study him for a reaction and reach for his hand. I love the way my hand fits in his palm, even when it's sweaty.
“That depends.” I can feel his pulse pumping in his grip matching the thudding in my chest.
I quirk my eyes up at him, “On what?”
Jase shrugs his shoulders, “On what you want my answer to be.”
“The truth. I always want the truth. I’m not judging you, I want to know if,” my voice cracks as his fingers draw small circles across my skin, “If you have more experience than I do.”
Silence falls between us, his eyes follow my tongue as it sweeps across my lips. I feel like an idiot until he leans over and touches his lips to mine. With an awkwardness that somehow makes it all the more special, our lips meet for our first kiss. It’s a sweet and tender moment, charged with the weight of our feelings.
“I want to be with you Jase but I’m no good for you.” In the quiet night, we hold each other, our breaths mingling with the cool air. The desire to share something so intimate is strong. I want to cherish this connection for as long as we can.
“You’re perfect for me.” He curls his finger around a strand of my hair sending waves of euphoria through my body.
“Maybe in another life. If we do this, we only get one night and you can’t tell anyone. Hawk will kill you.” As much as I want to give myself to him, to make this moment ours, I also wish things were different for him. I should have never led Jase here in the first place but he seemed so lost and alone, on the rooftop of the group home, I couldn’t turn my back on him. I know how it feels to be alone but with him next to me all that fades away.
“I know.” I’ve given him a lot to unpack but I need him to understand.
“Do you? There’s things about club life you don’t understand yet. What the President wants, he gets and he’s claimed me whether I like it or not.”
“We can leave this place and start a new life together.” There’s a hopefulness in his voice I wish I could believe in.
“It’s not that easy, Jase. We have no money and CPS is still looking for you. Besides, Hawk would find me anywhere I go.” Jase wraps his arm around me and draws me in close. In his arms, I find a sense of security that’s hard to describe.
“One night then.” We both share the same apprehension, but there’s a shared desire to be together, to seize this moment before my world changes forever.
I shimmy closer into Jase, his posture stiffening. There’s something sweet about his nervousness that reassures me I’m making the right choice. My virginity is mine and I choose to give it to Jase. In Hawk’s eyes, I belong to him but this… this belongs to me. “One night.”
Chapter 5
Fuel
“Welcome to Hell, Prospects.” Hawk, yells out while the four of us trek across the hot sand towards whatever fresh hell he has planned for us now. Hawk and some of the other club officers are standing in the middle of a small desert plot they dragged us to a few miles away from the clubhouse.
