Page 146 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
I tuck the blanket around Kellan and decide to face him.
“What’s going on?” I decide to let him broach the subject. “You’re acting strange.”
The heat in his eyes makes me stop. Not desire, or danger. More like extreme, crushing disappointment.
“The chart,” he forces the words out. “The blood type thing. I heard the entire thing and it doesn’t add up, Stevie. If those blood types were correct, she’s not Cooper’s.”
Hearing the words spoken out loud is too much, my instinct is to deflect. “She thinks she wrote it wrong. She said—”
“We both know she didn’t,” he cuts in, sharper now. He gets out of bed and paces a tight line across the room. “I’ve been doing the math all night. Counting back. Thinking about the last time we fucked in New York.” He swallows hard. “I thought we were reuniting and you were breaking it off.”
Memories flood my mind of how intense it was.
The heat of his hands on my skin and the way we’d clung to each other like we could fuse ourselves together if we tried hard enough. It had been desperate and consuming. The kind of night burned into your soul forever.
Walking away after felt like ripping out my own heart.
I’d told myself I was doing the right thing. For him. For me. For the future we both deserved but couldn’t find common ground on back then. I buried my ache under reason, convinced letting him go would give us both a better life.
I married Cooper and forced myself to lock away the past. Bury it under vows I made and took seriously. Immerse myself into the life he and I built and the family we made together.
If Coop hadn’t died, I’d be with him. Kellan wouldn’t exist.
I press my palms to the edge of the bassinet, trying to find the right words amidst the heaviness of all of this. Reconcile how my prior marriage sometimes feels like a ghost, comparatively. Flimsy and fading as Padraig and I navigate toward the future.
Overwhelming.
Padraig takes a step closer, eyes locked on mine. “Tell me what happened after you broke up with me.”
“Um…” My throat works around the truth. “I… I don’t want to hurt you.”
His teeth clench. “For fuck’s sake, Stevie. Too late.”
I close my eyes for a beat, then force it out. “It was four or five days later.”
“Had you fucked him before you fucked me when I was in New York?”
“No!” I sob. “No. I’d never…”
His eyebrow quirks like he doesn’t believe me.
His immediate silence is sharp enough to slice my skin wide open.
Finally, he drags a hand down his face, shaking his head like he can’t resolve the timeline. “You went from what we did to him in less than a week?”
“I wasn’t like… I didn’t plan—”
“You didn’tplan?” He laughs without humor.
I swallow hard. Over these past few years, Padraig and I have told each other everything about our lives without each other. Warts and all. Until tonight, I thought there was nothing we didn’t know about each other.
Except this. I fudged the timeline to spare his feelings. Not because I was trying to hide Isla’s paternity, though I can see how anyone with a brain would think so.
“I was young and confused, Padraig. When he found out we broke up, he shot his shot and it happened. Being without you wasn’t easy for me. Coop was my friend. He felt safe. Familiar. We had so much in common, but I never planned to jump into another serious relationship so soon.”
Padraig’s on the verge of tears. “Did you know you were pregnant when you fucked him?”
“What?”
