Page 122 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
We didn’t specifically talk about what comes next, not really. I know one thing. I want to be with her. Not in stolen nights between rehearsals and flights and tours. I want to start the slow process of merging our lives and blending our families without blowing them apart.
I can’t say anything, though. No one knows what happened the other night but us, and we plan to keep it quiet way until we’re ready.
Bottom line is, I don’t want to be in Europe for months. No fucking way.
Leaning forward, I cut through their back-and-forth. “You’re gonna have to find a fill-in drummer.”
“What?” Liam’s head snaps toward me.
“I can’t do it. If you want Fireball to take the festivals, get someone else behind the kit. I’m not leaving Rafferty for three months.”
Liam’s brows draw tight, disbelief sharp in his eyes. “You’d walk away? From everything we’ve been building? We have a fucking album coming out.”
“I’m saying figure it out without me.” I can sense heat starting to rise. “My son comes first.”
Connor’s gaze flicks between us, reading the tension in the air. Liam paces, like he’s got a hundred arguments lined up.
“Fine.” Liam leans in, eyes lit with the challenge. “Bring Mara and Rafferty. We can make it work.”
Connor nods. “It could. You’d have your own space on the bus.”
“No. Being on the road at his age isn’t cool,” I counter. “I’m not compromising his health and I’m not leaving him.”
Liam’s tone softens, but the urgency stays. “We need you, Padraig.”
“You don’t.” I shake my head. “Not for this. The three of you’ve got your groove. The album’s tight. A fill-in could handle the festivals.”
“Fuck this.” Liam leans back, eyes narrowing. He jerks his chin toward Connor. “Talk some sense into our brother before he walks away from the biggest tour we’ve ever been offered.”
When Liam’s screen goes dark, Connor fixes me with a look only he’s allowed to give. “Fer feck’s sake. What’s going on?”
I scrub my chin with my hand. “It’s not one thing. Rafferty’s fragile. Mara’s been offered a weekend anchor slot. I brought her to Seattle with me so we could coparent. We may not be a couple, but my family is a priority. I’m not blowing up her shot because my plans changed. It’s not fair.”
“And?” Unconvinced, Connor makes a rolling motion with his hand.
“Stevie’s back in the picture.”
His brows lift. “Wait, Stevie Hayes?”
“Yeah. Ran into her at an art exhibit.” I pause, knowing he has no idea what I’m talking about. “Myart exhibit. I started painting again, showing my work. She showed up and…”
Connor shakes his head. “Ach, you’ve been busy.”
“Busy figuring out where I belong. I’m not sure it’s behind a drum kit anymore.”
His mouth drops open. “You’re telling me you want to walk away from Fireball for good? After nearly twenty years?”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t had the same thoughts.” I meet his eyes. “You have babies too. I’m saying music isn’t the only thing in my life anymore. My priorities have changed. For one, I’m not hauling Rafferty across Europe when he’s this vulnerable. For another, I’m not disappearing on Stevie, not when we’ve finally found each other again.”
Connor leans back, weighing it. “Liam’s going to lose his mind.”
“Nah. He’ll be fine. I’ve sacrificed too much already to keep him happy. I’m putting myself first for once.”
He stands. “Well, I’m gonna head home. All I’m asking is for you to think about it. Don’t give Liam the satisfaction of calling you out for reacting out of emotion.”
“Appreciate the pep talk.” I huff out something that’s not quite a laugh.
He claps my shoulder, squeezes once. “Look, you know opportunities like this don’t happen often.”
