Page 78 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
I go rigid. Every muscle tenses. “Ma—”
She reaches for my arm. “You know Stevie’s married now, love. I don’t think you heard she and her husband have a little girl—about a year old.”
“Don’t say another word.” The air leaves my lungs in a sharp, unsteady rush.
Her eyes glisten, but her hand stays firm. “You deserve to move forward, my darling. I know how much you love her, I always thought the two of you would find your way back, but things moved quickly. Now there’s a baby involved.”
I look away, fighting the sting behind my eyes.
“Your first love is the hardest to let go.” Ma cups my face like I’m a boy. “I don’t want to see you stuck in the past while life passes you by. You and Liam both need more out of life than ghosts and heartache.”
Her gaze shifts briefly toward the dining room where Liam’s voice carries above the others, brittle and too loud. “He needs healing too. Your da’s words and actions hang over this family like a shadow. It has to be faced someday.”
I nod stiffly, but the oppressive ache in my chest makes it hard to breathe.
After the dishes are done, we cram into the living room. The TV’s on but no one’s watching.
Side by side on the couch, Seamus is curled up with his hoodie pulled tight, Brennan is hunched over his laptop, now working on some sort of artificial intelligence app, or something. Cillian’s in the armchair with a second beer dangling loose between his fingers.
Once again, Liam and I clock it, but neither of us say anything. We’re the long-lost brothers with no right to an opinion.
Da’s cane taps against the hardwood. We all turn. He crosses the room, stopping in front of Liam. “Step out with me a minute, son. On the porch.”
Liam doesn’t move.
The impenetrable protective wall he’s built since the incident is on full display. His jaw’s set. Shoulders squared. Tension pools in the silence for so long I think he’s going to tell Rory to fuck off in front of everyone. Surprisingly, he finally stands, and follows Da outside.
The front door clicks shut.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Seamus asks cautiously.
“Da’s probably trying to apologize, I know he feels bad,” Cillian reasons.
“Doesn’t erase what he did.” Brennan doesn’t look up from the laptop.
I lean forward. “I wonder if he even remembers how bad it was. He was so far gone. The pills. The drink.”
“We all remember.” Seamus pulls at the cuff of his sleeve.
My mind whirls back to the day. Of course we do. The shouting. The reek of whiskey. Da snarling at Liam for being with a man, calling him a disgrace. Saying he wasn’t his son. A slap so hard it sent me sideways. Liam’s body tumbling down the stairs, limp and twisted, the sound of his head hitting each step.
None of us will ever be able to erase the memory.
“Yeah,” I manage. “We all remember.”
Brennan shuts his laptop with a sharp click. “He’s ashamed. For weeks after, Da barely got out of bed. He never touched any of us, but he did turn the self-destruction on himself. Did Connor tell you he’d sneak out late at night to gamble in illegal poker games? He had to track Da down and bring him home. Lost so much money he nearly put the company out of business. Ma gave him an ultimatum, get help or she’d move us all back to Ireland. It’s better now, but he’s a mess.”
“Da went cold turkey. He’s making an effort and works a bit more these days. When I get my degree next year, I plan to take it over.” Cillian hesitates, then shrugs. “Brennan’s a genius programmer. He’s gonna revolutionize the world. Seamus is going to heal us all. You and Liam are doing your thing. Don’t worry about us. We’re strong Irish stock.”
“I know you don’t feel like you’re part of this anymore. Not like before. But, you’re our brothers and you’ll always be family,” Seamus states matter-of-factly.
“Connor made us stay away. After what happened to Liam, he couldn’t risk—”
“Look, odds are he’s never going to forgive Da, and probably shouldn’t,” Brennan cuts in. “Liam didn’t deserve what happened.”
I don’t argue. Because my astute, brainiac brother isn’t wrong.
The violence goes without saying. His cruel slags can and will never be erased. It’s taken years for my twin to accept who he is, and I’m not sure he’s fully there yet.
