Page 60 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
Maybe he’s giving me some tough love. I know how much he says he misses me. I’ve honestly been so busy, I didn’t have much space to miss him.
Now all I think about is whether I fucked everything up with Padraig. My rock. My one true love. As much as I love it here, I’m drowning.
Fuck it. The banquet layout can wait. I type the words
Me:Want me to come out there for a few days? I miss you.
I stare at the message. My finger hovers.
Then I hit send.
The text hangs in the thread like it’s glowing. I set my phone face down on my desk. Pretend the pit in my stomach doesn’t grow every second it stays unanswered.
“Hey,” a deep voice startles me from behind.
I glance over my shoulder. Cooper’s leaning against the cubicle wall, coffee in one hand. His tie’s loosened, like it usually is after his second meeting of the day. His easy grin makes him look like trouble even though he’s the most decent guy in New York.
“You okay?” His face contorts in concern.
“Eh.” I shrug, shifting in my chair. “Logistics.”
He raises a brow. “Hotel logistics or life logistics?”
“Both.” I lean back in my chair. “Mostly the second one.”
Cooper walks around to the chair across from mine and sits, balancing his coffee on the armrest. “Boyfriend troubles?”
I have no one to talk to about this, so I nod. “Yeah. Ever since he left here we’ve been off.”
“I’m sorry to hear.” He tilts his head. “Makes sense, though. You’ve been quiet for the last couple of months.”
I rub my temples. “It’s not like anything bad has happened. I thought we were solid. Now it’s like. I don’t know. He’s pulling away. Or, maybe I’m imagining it. I feel crazy.”
“What if…” Cooper pauses. “You’re not imagining it?”
I study him. “I’d be devastated. We’ve been together for nearly seven years. Our future was all planned out but I wanted to see what life would be like if I took my dream job and we weren’t tethered at the hip. I never thought we’d be here.”
“Wow. Sounds familiar.” He sighs heavily. There’s a pause. “Angela and I broke up when I went home for Christmas.”
“Oh, Coop. I’m sorry.” His girlfriend is all he’s talked about since I’ve known him.
“Well…” He shrugs. “The reality is, long-distance only works when both people make the effort. I’ve been so bogged down with work, I didn’t notice until we were already over.”
I hate how much his words land. “God. I’m afraid. When I took this job, he was devastated but I convinced him it would be good for us to grow individually before settling down for good. Now I’m scared I’m losing the person I love most in the world.”
“For what it’s worth? You’re doing everything right. You’re living your life. Killing it here.” He takes a sip of coffee. “He has his own stuff going, anyway, right? It’s not like you’ve done something wrong.”
“No, he always knew I didn’t want to go on tour.” I swallow hard.
He nudges my knee with his. “Hey. You’re not alone in this.”
I manage to smile even as I keep listening for my phone to vibrate with his reply.
I rest my chin on my hand, eyes fixed on a crack in the corner of the desk. “It’s weird, isn’t it? How one minute everything’s like a straight path you both agreed to and the next you’re not even sure you’re on the same planet.”
“God, yeah.” Cooper exhales through his nose. “Like you keep wanting to go back to the old version of things.”
My eyes fill. “It’s all I can think about.”
