Page 45 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
Liam stiffens, but nods in agreement.
“And, Padraig.” His gaze lands on me. “You’re allowed to want more than holding this together.”
Then he’s gone.
Silence creeps in as Liam and I exchange a glance. He gives me a two-finger salute and follows Connor. “I’m gonna find Linus.”
I sit alone in the empty green room staring at my scuffed boots amongst the crushed water bottles littering the floor. The ghost of the crowd echoes in my ears.
Tonight was incredible. A high unlike no other.
Except for I miss Stevie.
Three months without her hasn’t been easy. We have three months to go.
She asked me once, “Is this really what you want, or are you all-in because it’s what Liam needs?”
I didn’t have an answer then.
I don’t now.
All I know is absence does make the heart grow fonder.
I can’t live without my girl.
twelve
Stevie
Three Months Later
I’minthemiddleof holiday chaos of SeaTac.
A toddler wails behind me in the long customs line while a woman in a red scarf shouts angrily into her phone. I’m being jostled and nudged nonstop. I may pee my pants if things don’t get moving soon.
Doesn’t matter. Nothing can dampen my mood.
I’m home.
When it’s my turn, I dig out my passport and get it stamped, then everything moves in a blur. I grab my bags, coast through customs and head for the tram to the arrivals area.
As the train speeds toward my destination, I wrap the camel coat I bought in Switzerland snug over the blouse I steamed a million hours ago before I departed.
The girl who left Seattle wore t-shirts, denim, and ChapStick. This new version of me is polished. Professional. Certain. Like the woman I want to become.
Only, I’m quivering beneath it all.
Because I’m about to see him.
Padraig.
It’s been months without his hands on my body, his mouth dragging over my skin and his breath heaving when I fall apart for him.
We may have spoken nearly every day, but a screen can’t kiss you. Video sex kept us sane, but let’s be real. A pixelated orgasm isn’t the same as being split open by someone who knows your body like a prayer.
I’ve missed him every second with a deep, unwavering ache.
I loved Switzerland., but I love him more.
