Page 150 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
I try to soften the bitter edge in my throat. “You sound like you’ve been taking night classes in therapy.”
“Aye.” He gives a half shrug. “Or maybe I’m watching my twin bleed out and trying to keep him upright for once.”
The corner of my mouth twitches, but it’s nowhere near a smile. “You’re not wrong. Feels like I’m bleeding from the inside out.”
“Then don’t do it alone.” He narrows his eyes. “You need to go back home.”
I shake my head as I pace the length of the room. “I don’t even know where to start. With her. With Isla. With myself.”
“Start with the truth. Get the test done, face it head-on.” He points at me. “Then you man up. Deal with whatever comes.”
I scrub at my face, desperate to shift the focus. “What about you? How’re you holding up?”
Liam shakes his head hard. “No. Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Turn it back on me.” His voice firms, leaving no room for argument. “You’ve done this our whole lives, Dar. Looked after me, carried me, made my storms the bigger story. I’ve let you. Relied on you. Not tonight. I’m fine. This isn’t about me.” He leans closer to the screen, eyes cutting through me. “This is the first time I can remember you calling me in a crisis. The first time you’ve let me be the one to hold you up. So let me. Don’t reach for my pain to take the weight off yours. Sit in it. I can handle mine. Tonight, I’m here to help with yours.”
Tears stream down my face. I feel broken. Also, seen. I realize how much of my resentment toward my twin has stemmed from exactly what he’s admitted.
“You fought me like hell to leave the band. You stood up to me and chose your family. Challenged me to rely on the people who love me.” His emotions mirror mine, and I’m surprised to see his eyes well up with tears too. “Don’t throw your family away now. Whatever’s happened tonight, don’t abandon them. Not after everything you sacrificed to be there.”
The silence between us stretches, thick with everything we’ve said and everything we haven’t. My chest heaves, tears sliding unchecked.
“I missed you,” I choke out, the words foreign on my tongue after so long apart.
Liam blinks hard, a tear finally breaking loose down his cheek. “Christ, Dar. I missed you too. More than I’ll ever admit to anyone else. You’re my other half. Always have been.”
My throat burns. “We’ve spent our whole lives side by side. From the worst nights at home to tour buses for twenty years. No one knows me better than you. Being estranged from you has gutted me.”
“Same.” He nods, tears streaking his face now. “I gave you shite for walking away, but truth is, I wasn’t angry you left the band. I was angry you left me. Felt like I’d lost my twin for good.”
The ache in my chest softens. “You never lost me. Not really.”
“Good.” He furiously wipes tears with the heel of his hand. “Because I couldn’t survive it.”
For a beat, we stare at each other across the screen. Two halves of the same whole. Cracked but never broken.
“I love you, Liam,” I manage, voice splintering.
“I love you too, Padraig.” He breathes it out like a vow. “No matter what.”
We both hesitate, neither wanting to end the call. Finally, he nods. “Get some sleep. You’ll need it.”
“Yeah.” I warble through emotion. “Talk tomorrow?”
“Aye. Give me the update.”
The screen goes dark, leaving me in the quiet of my empty townhouse.
Lighter somehow.
The weight of what’s in front of me shifted by knowing my brother’s still with me.
Always.
forty-four
