Page 149 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
“Isla might be mine.”
He exhales, slow and clean. “Alright. Well. Fuck.” His gaze sharpens. “Why’d you think?”
“Some school project. A science blood-type thing.” I can’t get the visual out of my head. “She got an incomplete because Coop’s type and Stevie’s type don’t make her type. One look at the results and it hit me square in the heart. No working it around, no easing into it. Iknew.”
Liam shuts his eyes, processing.
“I had it out with Stevie. We tore it apart, every angle. She swears she didn’t know, but the timing…” I let the silence finish it for me. “She fucked Cooper four, maybe five days after she was with me in New York. It lines up.”
“No shit?”
“In my head, she’s mine. Has been since Stevie and I got back together. In my heart, too. Now, she’s my actual blood. I’ve got no proof yet. I can feel it, though.” Tears leak out of my eyes again. I’m so overwhelmed.
Liam sighs heavily. “Jesus, Dar.”
I wipe at my face with the heel of my hand, but more tears slide out. “I don’t even know what to do. I feel like my chest’s split open.”
“Breathe.” He leans closer to the screen. “Try and breathe.”
“That’s all I’ve been doing since I left the house. Big, empty breaths.” My voice cracks. “I keep thinking about the years. All the shit I missed. I don’t know how to live with the loss if it’s true.”
“Then don’t.”
I frown. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t live with it like it’s a punishment. You’re already the father figure in her life. If she’s officially yours, what’s changed? You make the years you’ve got matter more than the ones you lost.”
I look at him through the blur, trying to believe this woo-woo advice is actually coming from him. “You think it’s simple?”
“It’s not. It’s worth it.”
My eyebrows raise to the sky. Is this my brother?
He smirks faintly. “Don’t look so shocked. Now, tell me exactly what went down with Stevie.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you said you had it out?” He leans back in his chair. “What was said and how did she say it? Did she freak out? Don’t give me the shorthand.”
I recount the story in as much detail as I can. “She swore she didn’t know. And if I’m honest…” I exhale, eyes dropping for a second. “She seemed as shocked as I was.”
“Then maybe she really didn’t. You know Stevie, she’s not a liar. If she looked blindsided, she probably was.” Liam rubs his mouth, watching me through the screen.
I shake my head. “But she knew the timing. It had to cross her mind.”
“Think about it, Dar. She’d been with you forever, then broke it off and suddenly found herself pregnant with a guy she’d barely started dating.” Liam’s arms are folded around his chest. “She was probably scared shitless he’d think she trapped him. It might never have crossed her mind to question it. Should it have? Maybe. But only she knows the answer.”
I shake my head glumly. “Did I mean so little to her?”
“Get the fuck out of town. No woebegone bullshit. Look at the life you have now. The one you left our band for?” Liam shakes his head. “She did what people do when they’re gutted. Grab what’s right in front of them. I understand how it is. Besides, you’ve already lived with the hurt of her moving on for years. This doesn’t make it new. You’re over it.”
I stare at him. “My first thought when I saw the paper was she knew I got her pregnant, told Cooper it was his and he swooped in to take my place.”
“Jesus, Padraig.” Liam sounds exasperated. “Does lying intentionally sound like our Stevie?Nah. If you stay locked in the ‘how could she,’ you’ll eat yourself alive. You already replayed the movie on repeat. For fucking years.”
My laugh comes out jagged. “What about Isla? She’s sixteen. She knows pieces of who Stevie and I were back in the day. If she learns the man she’s called Dad all her life isn’t…” My voice trails off. “What will it do to her to find out it’s me? She’ll feel so betrayed by both of us.”
“Isla already looks at you like you’re her da. The ground might shake, sure, but it’ll steady. You’ll be the reason. Lila and Jude, they’ll take their cues from her. It’ll be a storm, but kids survive storms if love’s holding the walls up. Look at our family, what happened to us was a hell of a lot more devastating.” Liam takes a pull from his soda can.
