Page 345 of Boots, Bucket Lists & Bad Ideas
I step away from the horse. He doesn’t need the anger pouring through me.
“Never meant for it to go that far? To almost kill him? You almost killed someone, Daddy. And Hart saw it. It ruined him. It tore him away from me and landed him in the hospital after his hit. A hit that took his career. And he watched his daddy almost die. You did that.”
“I’m sorry, Jade.
I shake my head and unlock the pen. “You’re sorry? To who? To me? To Mr. Wilde? Or Hart? Because he saw the whole thing, and his life has never been the same.”
“I’m sorry to everyone, my action caused pain.”
“It’s not enough.”
“I know, but back then, I was young, angry, and sad. The day I saw Levi on our land with your sister, something inside me clicked.”
He rubs a hand over his face, fingers pressing into his eyes as though he’s trying to block out the memory.
“They were young. Only twelve years old and just playing on the land like they—like they belonged to each other.” He looks away, unable to meet my eyes.
His gaze fixes on something distant as though the memory itself is too much to bear.
“Instead of seeing the beautiful friendship they shared, I saw Calvin and my sister. I saw them sneaking away together, and I remembered sneaking away with them.”
His words are new to me. Anything involving our parents together has always been hush-hush and not discussed, not even known to people. Which makes sense, considering their folks also hated each other.
He exhales sharply, a sound full of frustration and self-disappointment.
“I didn’t stop their friendship. Hell, for a long while, I was secretly friends with Calvin. Your Aunt Naomi was friends with your mother and Lillian. Best friends. A trio of whirlwind and trouble I grew up with.” He chuckles, as if the memories are good, but a strain of pain seizes him, stealing him into a moment for himself.
“I didn’t know that,” I say quietly.
I only know the small version of what our fathers decided to share with Levi and Hope about my aunt falling off a ridge when she went out on a date with Mr. Wilde. None of my siblings knew all of them were friends, sneaking around on the property.
“It wasn’t just one summer like you and Hart. We were longtime friends like Levi and Hope. Calvin was my friend as much as he was your aunt’s. Of course, our families didn’t know and never would have approved.”
The story of our damn bloodlines. A stupid feud between settlers who tried to destroy each other over land, property, and stupid cattle.
One that stuck.
One an entire town participated in.
“So when I saw your sister and how easy she was with him, I knew that wasn’t their first time together. I knew there was more.”
He’d been right. Hope had always been sneaking off with Levi, and only my mama and Levi’s mama knew, apparently, until my daddy found out.
“I saw my sister when I looked at Hope. I saw her smile and her laughter. I saw that Levi gave her those things, and this guilt I’d buried resurfaced with a vengeance.”
I hold my breath as the features of his face shift.
“I wasn’t going to let what happened to Naomi happen to Hope. And I certainly wasn’t going to stand around and let it happen like I did with your aunt. I’d been convinced that if we hadn’t broken the feud rules, she’d still be alive. If I had told my father, he’d have stepped in and she’d be alive.”
His pain engulfs me. I feel it. But I feel Hart’s too. The teenager he had been seeing all this go down.
My heart breaks.
“So when I confronted Calvin and he tried to play it down, because he loved my sister so deeply, I lost control. I didn’t—” He exhales sharply, the words are stuck in his chest. “I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. But I saw red. I saw a man responsible for my sister’s death, and my daughter lying in the ground next to her.”
It feels like my whole chest is caving in from the inside out. I don’t even know how to carry all the pain I feel for all of them.
So I stand here.
