Page 189 of Boots, Bucket Lists & Bad Ideas
It’s enough to keep me rooted in place.
But it’s also enough to make me want to storm up there, yank her out of his arms, and never let her go.
The crowd roars as he dips her down low, her back arching, the movement so fluid. When he brings her up, her chest pressing against his, and she gasps, arms slipping around his neck.
It’s too much.
I can’t sit here and watch this.
I stand so quick my head rushes.
I have to get out of here. I need to walk away, because if I stay, I might do something I regret.
But as I turn toward the exit, I catch her eye one more time, just for a split second.
Her lips part again, and for a moment, I think she’s about to call my name. But then the song climaxes, the moment passes, and she’s back in his arms.
And I know, deep down, that no matter how hard I fight it, it’s too late for me, and that knowledge is going to be my undoing.
I turn to leave.
Dean pulls my arm. “What are you doing?”
“I need air,” I choke on the words and stride straight out of the room.
I gasp for air as I exit the auditorium and stop in the atrium of the theater. The music floats into the space.
Anything but this fucking song.
I bend, my fingers driving into my hips.
Of course, it had to be this song. It’s karma biting me in the ass for being a wimp all those years ago. For the fear I felt when I saw what I could never unsee, and letting that be the reason I walked away from her.
If a song can make me spiral out of control like this, it just underscores the fact that all these years later, I’m still not man enough for her.
“Excuse me, sir.” A light tap on my arm brings me out of my reverie.
A woman wearing a headset flashes a smile at me.“You’re with the lady on the stage?” Before I can utter a reply, she continues. “Of course you are, you’re wearing the same shirt.”
These damn shirts.
“Follow me.” She heads down a narrow hallway.
I follow. I don’t know why, but I do.
“I’m the Theatre Liaison,” she adds, glancing back at me with a tight smile. “She’ll come off the stage back here since she’s thefinal solo dancer. You can greet her in this area and then take her up front.”
Her voice barely registers. I’m too focused on the fact that she’s up there, the woman I never had the guts to admit I’ve always loved.
My chest tightens, but I don’t say anything. I just nod and follow her.
The beat of my heart is erratic now. My nerves crawl up my spine, my hands are clammy as I grip the side of the wall and see Jade. She’s back on that damn chair again.
Every part of me wants to get the hell out of here, but I can’t. Sweat trickles down my neck, and the overwhelming sound of my pulse rings in my ears.
Everything feels so damn loud.
So out of control.
