Page 23 of Rodeo Cowboy
Chapter Five
SAMMY
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ISEE A STRANGER STARINGback at me in the bathroom mirror. When did my own reflection become one I despise?
The weight of my guilt lies thick inside me as I shuffle to the kitchen. I’m prepared to face all my mistakes over the last few months and move forward. Whatever direction that may be, but I can’t continue to live bottled up with my demons. Amends is my goal.
The kitchen is bustling with activity. Pots of coffee brew and eggs sizzle in the frying pan, and the smell of bacon wafts.
My entire family is here. My brothers set up folding tables on either side of my small dining room table while their wives lay out tablecloths and arrange the table settings. The kids gallop, mimicking horses, around the massive brick fireplace dividing the kitchen and dining room from the living room. There’s no sign of Ayla or the kids. I don’t see Elsie either. It’s better this way.
“You didn’t need to do this.” I kiss my ma’s cheek.
“We didn’t expect y’all to get up and head over to our house your first morning back.” My ma pulls on a pair of oven mitts and opens the oven. “I hope we’re not imposing, but I couldn’t wait to get to know Ayla. She seems sweet as a peach. And Faye and Wilma say your marriage is the perfect match, and they’ve started on your quilt.”
I’m about to pop all their bubbles of hope. Sometimes I wonder if the Quylt sisters actually see or sense—whatever the hell they claim—a couple's connection or if they’re throwing out guesses. Because I damn well know Ayla, and I aren’t meant to be together. I’m not meant to be with anyone.
“It is so sweet of you both to bring her nieces and nephew for a visit during the holidays. Since you missed Christmas, I thought we could have a small dinner. Nothing fancy. Maybe a secret Santa.”
Everything is fancy with my ma.
I pour myself a black coffee. “She’s raising them.”
“Oh.” She sets a tray of bacon on the counter without making eye contact.
“Their parents died in a collision a year ago.”
Her hand flies to her mouth. “Those poor babies.”
I lean on the counter. “Ayla's parents also died in the same crash.”
“My heart breaks for them.”
I might’ve had the same reaction when she told me during my interview to be the foreman on her ranch if I hadn’t been so self-involved.
My ma touches my arm. “They’re blessed to have you in their lives.”
Maybe a week ago, when I managed their family ranch, keeping it in order with a casual wave from a distance. But not now. Not after I’ve dragged them into my fucked up life.
I cover my ma’s hand with mine. “Ma, I’m genuinely sorry for everything I’ve done and put you through.”
She places her free hand over mine but doesn’t interrupt me.
“It was never my intention to hurt anyone. Not Silver. Or Elsie. Or you or Pa. No excuse will ever make up for the lie we told everyone, but I saw a future
“Listen, ma. We need to talk.”
She must sense my urgency because she abandons her cooking to give me her full attention. “Yes, son.”
“It’s about—”
“Good morning, babe.” Ayla places a gentle hand on my back and slides it to my front before she reaches up, and her lips land on mine.
