Page 57 of Trained Royal
“Should I ask for Patrick’s opinion? He’s alive because of you. He’s been happier since he’s met you.”
Kieren didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure if that was true. They had admitted they had feelings for each other the previous day, but what if that was just the adrenaline talking? What if Patrick was just grateful for what he’d done?
“Tell me what went through your mind when you decided to run across the stage to Patrick,” Timothy said.
Kieren swallowed. “Christian rushed past me to get to Charles. I almost stopped him because he came from behind me, and I hadn’t seen him. ChristianorCharles. I was too focused on Patrick.” He paused. Was that why he hadn’t seen the shooter until too late?
“What went through your mind just then?” Timothy asked. Kieren didn’t see any reason to deny what he’d just thought. “Is it a problem to be focused on the person you are protecting?”
“It depends. If it was because I was checking on him to make sure he was okay, then it’s fine. If it was because I was distracted by him and not aware of our surroundings, then no.”
“Do you believe you were unaware of your surroundings?”
Kieren frowned, thinking back to the auction. He hadn’t seen Charles waiting in the wings of the stage, but he’d seen the commotion by the door and had been focused on that and Patrick. Was that why he hadn’t seen Charles turn up?
“Brett brought my attention to something happening at one of the entrances. I was trying to figure out what was happening. Then, when Christian rushed past, my attention was divided. The entrance, Patrick, Christian and Charles, and the audience. I didn’t know which way to look. But when Christian mouthed gun to me, I made a split-second decision.”
“One that saved Patrick’s life.”
“Is that why he’s with me?” Kieren whispered.
“No. I can see the way he looks at you. And he did that before you saved him.”
Kieren thought so, too, but he couldn’t help second-guessing everything. Every move he made, every feeling he had, every thought floating through his mind.
“Everyone around you doesn’t die, Kieren.”
Kieren snapped his gaze to Timothy’s face. How the hell had he understood that?
Timothy smiled. “First, I’m a therapist. I understand the way the mind can work. Second, you’ve been around the royals enough that if you were cursed, they would drop like flies.”
“I lose those I care most about,” Kieren argued.
“What about Zane and Viv?” Timothy asked, bringing up the friends he’d mentioned earlier in the session. “They’re still here. Does that mean you don’t care about them?”
“I do care!”
“They’re still here, Kieren. Nothing has happened to them because of their association with you. If you were cursed, I would’ve thought it would touchanyoneyou cared about. Wouldn’t you?”
Kieren’s gaze darted around the room, trying to make sense of Timothy’s words. Could he be right? He brushed a hand across his forehead, wiping the beads of sweat from his skin. Was Patrick on his way back now? Had something happened on the way? Kieren reached for his phone, but Patrick hadn’t sent a message. Should he message and check in with him?
“He’ll be fine, Kieren. Deep breaths for me. Get your heart rate under control before the nurses pull rank on us. That’s it.”
Kieren shakily inhaled and exhaled, listening to Timothy’s words instead of the jumble of thoughts whizzing around his head like they were on a waltzer ride.
“It’s Henry’s birthday in a couple of days,” Timothy said.
Kieren frowned. “Okay…” He wasn’t sure how relevant that was.
“He’s decided to just have a family dinner instead of a party because he doesn’t want to put anyone at risk. No one agreed with him, but he put his foot down. Everyone has the right to worry about the people around them. To change their plans because they want to keep them safe. No one is debating that. I guarantee you, though, that if this differed from being a birthday party and was some larger event, he might’ve been overruled. The people around us would have to adapt like everyone does with every situation, every day. It can cause confusion, upset, arguments even.” Timothy paused. “But what every one of these situations has in common is communication. You don’t have to like something, but with good communication, things get easier.”
“You’re saying I need to talk to Patrick?”
Timothy shook his head. “I’m saying you need to talk toeveryone. Unless they know your situation, they can’t give you what you need, which is reassurance.” He crossed his legs. “I’m not saying you need to give them your entire history unless you want to, but give them a reason to make sure your worries are heard and acknowledged. That’s the only way they can help you feel better about the plans.”
“Some people already know.”
“That’s good. It makes it easier for you. You don’t need to be ashamed of wanting to protect those close to you. Of needing reassurance. It will get easier.”
