Page 9 of Trained Royal
Patrick peered at him. “About what?”
“Us leaving you alone. I can collectively say that we thought it was what you needed, but I can see we were wrong. We’ll do better.” Freddie nodded at Kieren and crouched beside Patrick. “Are you okay, Paddy?”
Patrick tried for a smile, though he wasn’t sure he succeeded. “I’m… I’ll be fine,” he amended. “Let’s forget about it for now, except for me to say we need to have a discussion soon about everything. I feel out of the loop.”
Freddie nodded and squeezed Patrick’s knee. “I’ll arrange it.”
Patrick chuckled when his stomach growled again. “I need food.” He grinned, feeling calmer. “Preferably a cheeseburger so I can watch Henry’s face when I eat it.”
Freddie laughed, rising to a stand. “That never gets old.”
Kieren’s forehead creased, and Patrick explained, “He hates them with a passion. I don’t know how you missed that.” His mouth twitched when Kieren pursed his lips.
“My focus is you, not your family,” he stated, sending tingles of heat through Patrick as his mind conjured up being his sole focus in other ways.
Patrick cleared his throat and stood. “Food,” he said, his voice cracking.
He strode across the grass, not stopping to talk to anyone until he reached Damon. “Are there any cheeseburgers?”
Damon grinned. “I might’ve made a special batch of them just before Henry came to pick up his jacket potato.” He winked. “I don’t think he likes me anymore.”
Patrick chuckled. “He probably does, but you’ll have lost a few points on his scale.”
Damon passed him a burger and pointed to the table. “Everything you need is there. Including everything you don’t need.” He rolled his eyes. “Douglas insisted on every condiment and ingredient he could think of.”
“Sounds like him.” Patrick paused. “Actually, that sounds more like Mav.”
“I agree.”
“Don’t forget to eat yours, too,” Patrick reminded him.
“Not gonna happen.”
Patrick chuckled and added fried onions and salad to his burger before christening the top with ketchup. The best way to eat a cheeseburger. He grabbed a jacket potato for good measure and headed back to his seat, glad to see no one waiting for him; he needed a few minutes’ peace.
He savoured the food, made to perfection, while his brain simmered, not running rampant as it had earlier, but trundling along. He couldn’t hide from the glaring fact that he wanted Kieren and had for a while. The fact he didn’t have the confidence to try for what he wanted was also blatantly clear, which put him in a conundrum. If he thought it would make any difference and wouldn’t affect Kieren or his job, he would’ve requested a new guard, but he couldn’t imagine his life without the man in it, and he trusted nobody else to protect him. Plus, he’d badgered the man enough to get him to train him; he could hardly go back on that now.
Should he cancel their training sessions? It would give him less time with him, which might help with his crush. He doubted it would help because he’d still feel the same way, and it would mean he wouldn’t be as well trained as he hoped he would be. He still needed to feel he was helping in some way, and he had nothing else to offer other than his body.
He switched to lemonade for the rest of the evening, knowing he wanted to drive home instead of crashing in one of the many bedrooms in the house. He also didn’t want to leave Kieren stranded after giving him a lift. More than one person was worse for wear by the time Patrick and Kieren left. Luckily, they had already decided on designated drivers before the evening had started.
Silence filled the car on the journey home, but Patrick had something he needed to say.
“Thank you for your help back there.”
“My pleasure.”
He would never tire of hearing Kieren talk. The soft but deep tones seemed to vibrate through the air and surround him before soaking into him. Patrick shook his head minutely. Such whimsical vocabulary for saying he loved the way he spoke.
“My cousins and brother mean well. I’m not just saying that, either. I didn’t know what I needed until you sat there and helped.”
“It’s not easy to figure out what helps when pain and frustration get the better of you. Sometimes, you need someone on the outside looking in to see what you’re blind to.”
Patrick tapped his thumb on the steering wheel. “Sounds like you have experience.” He didn’t want to pry if Kieren didn’t want to tell him, but he wouldn’t deny that he wanted to know more about the man who played everything close to his chest. Had the alcohol he’d drank loosened his tongue?
Kieren stared out of the window, the same as he had done on the drive earlier that day. “I do.”
That was all he said, and Patrick could understand him wanting to keep his personal life to himself. “Understood.”
