Page 21 of Trained Royal
“I’m—” Patrick stopped when Kieren glared at him, earning a small smile. “Okay.”
Patrick sat against the headboard and stared at his hands in his lap. Kieren would’ve been concerned about his “spaciness” if Freddie hadn’t explained it to him. He rose and gathered a bottle of water that said it had electrolytes in it, a tub of cut-up fruit that had been left in the fridge and a small bottle of coconut oil.
He put the items on the bedside table and sat beside Patrick, opening the bottle of water and putting a straw in it. He held it to Patrick’s mouth and raised an eyebrow. Patrick’s mouth quirked, but he took the straw between his lips and drank, their eyes locked the entire time. When Patrick had his fill, Kieren put the bottle on the table and picked up the fruit. He used the fork to spear a piece and held it to Patrick’s mouth again.
“I can feed myself,” Patrick said.
“I know.” Kieren wanted to do this. He hadn’t realised how much he wanted to look after Patrick. He knew the man was a Dom and probably didn’t want this level of care on a normal day, but while he would let him, Kieren would revel in it.
As Patrick chewed the strawberry Kieren had placed in his mouth, he tilted his head. When he swallowed, he said, “Do you have any questions about the scene?”
Kieren lifted another piece of fruit while he organised his thoughts. “Did she orgasm?”
Patrick raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. “It wasn’t about a sexual release for her. It’s about a release of the tension in her body. Her job is very stressful, and this was what she found works best for her to let go of all that. She’s happily married, and her husband can’t do this for her because he hates seeing her hurt. As a compromise, she comes to me when she needs the release, but that’s all it’s about. She would never cheat on him, and she goes right back home to him after.”
Kieren thought that through as he fed Patrick piece after piece of fruit until he finished it, then he offered the drink again. “Lie down on your stomach,” he said when Patrick drank some more.
“Why?”
“I’m going to massage your sore arms and back.”
“But they’re not—” Patrick sighed and nodded. He manoeuvred himself further down and rolled to his stomach.
Kieren had never given a massage before. He’d only ever rubbed a warming muscle cream into his skin or Patrick’s. That was different to a massage. He poured some coconut oil into his hands and rubbed them together, positioning himself on his knees beside Patrick’s hips. He inhaled before resting his hands on his back and rubbing in small circles around his lower back. He started gently, increasing the pressure depending on the noises Patrick made. His hands moved to his upper back after replenishing the oil, but it wasn’t an easy position, twinging his own back with his movements.
“Straddle my hips, Kieren. I don’t mind.”
“How did you—”
“Your movements aren’t as smooth as they were before. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”
Kieren smiled. There was no giving the Dom a break. He grabbed the oil so he could reach it when he moved and lifted his leg over Patrick’s thighs. It was an excellent position for many things, the least of which was the massage. He hoped he could get through it without popping a boner, but he doubted it.
Focusing on Patrick’s upper back, he dug into the muscles there, earning several deep groans which vibrated through his back and into Kieren’s hands. He rubbed his thumbs into the base of Patrick’s neck and all along his shoulders. Grabbing some more oil, he moved to Patrick’s arms, giving one side and then the other the same treatment the rest of his body had received.
When he couldn’t find any more knots or tension in Patrick’s body, he softened his hands for a few minutes, then paused. Soft inhales and exhales sounded, and Kieren smiled. It seemed Patrick had fallen asleep. Kieren had done something right. He glared down at his cock, hard and aching behind the zip of his trousers. Nothing would come from this, and it needed to fuck off.
Climbing off Patrick’s body carefully, he grabbed another bottle of water and settled onto the bed beside him, his back to the headboard. He watched the rise and fall of Patrick’s back as he drank. What the hell was he going to do? He wouldn’t lie to himself and say he didn’t want Patrick because he did. He wanted to see what they could make of their lives together, but could he let his heart out of its locked box and take the chance that Patrick would stay with him for the rest of their lives? Could he take the chance that the evil at work within the royal family wouldn’t take Patrick from him before they were both old and grey and died peacefully in their sleep side by side?
He wanted to, but being scared did something to a person. It stopped their heart from making a choice. Logic won out more times than their emotions did. Was he ready for his heart and head to fight the big fight? He didn’t know.
For then, he was where he wanted to be, with the person he wanted to be with. After that, he’d have to see which fights he won and which he lost. Having Freddie’s approval helped, as did knowing Patrick felt something for him, but he had his own nightmares to fight against, as well as guessing what their future held.
He put the bottle on the table and lay down beside the man he wanted more than he’d wanted anyone else before. He didn’t touch him, but he stared at him, mapping every laughter line, every hill and valley, every scar and hair on his face.
Did he have the strength to give Patrick everything he said he wanted?
****
Chapter 7
Patrick
Patrick woke surrounded by warmth, and for a moment, it disconcerted him. He studied his surroundings without moving his head, finding he was still in the room at the club, but the arm around his waist and the breath heating his neck was something he wasn’t used to. Gently, he twisted his head to the side, and Kieren came into view. Patrick let go of the worry and smiled. This would probably be the only time he would get to hold and be held by him, and he wasn’t going to do anything to mess it up. He wished he could roll over to watch Kieren as he slept, but he didn’t want to take the chance he would wake and move away from him.
Instead, he lay there, relishing the hold Kieren had on him, the deep inhales of slumber, the heat of him pressed against his back. Having no idea what time it was because there were no clocks in the room, he let himself drift, half-dreaming, half-daydreaming about a life where he and Kieren could be together. Patrick didn’t see a problem with them being together, but something was holding Kieren back, and he wished he could help him with it.
The body behind him froze, and Patrick realised Kieren was awake.
