Page 105 of Trained Royal
“No.” Damon got in his face, almost nose to nose. “You stay there and calm the fuck down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down.”
“Someone needs to. You’re going to combust in front of all these people, and you don’t want that to happen. You’ll regret it because you’ll say something you don’t mean to.”
Freddie’s chest heaved as he stared down his best friend. “You don’t know—”
“Yes, I do.” Damon stepped closer if that was possible, plastering their fronts together and gripping his chin. “You feel like you could do the job as good as anyone else. You’re right. You feel like you’ve been punished by not being able to help. You’re not. You feel like no one is listening to you. They are. You feel like you’re not worthy enough to be saved.” Damon swallowed hard. “You are.”
With every word, Freddie felt his body lose its tension, and if Damon hadn’t been standing so close to him, he would’ve dropped to the floor. Damon slid his hand around to Freddie’s nape and rested their foreheads together.
“Don’t give up on yourself or on me,” Damon whispered.
Freddie slid his forehead from Damon’s and to his shoulder, giving in to the need to be held closer. Damon’s hand released his shirt and wrapped around his back, and Freddie clung to the back of Damon’s shirt. They both tightened their grip until Freddie could hardly breathe, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to let go. He needed this tethering because Damon hit the nail on the head. Freddie didn’t believe he was worthy of being saved. He didn’t think he was the best choice for being the heir, despite what everyone else was saying. He second-guessed himself all the time, and what king did that? His father certainly didn’t.
Damon’s hand rubbed up and down Freddie’s back, and Freddie let the tears flow, knowing no one could see him with Damon hiding them. For the first time in a long time, he let his best friend bear the brunt of everything, and Freddie just floated.
He had no idea how long he’d stayed that way, but when he came back, they were sitting on the floor, in the same place, with Freddie curled in Damon’s lap. He should’ve felt embarrassed about it, but he found he didn’t care. He was worn out, and he couldn’t have brought himself to move even if he had the energy.
“How are you doing?” Damon whispered. Freddie didn’t answer, just squeezed the hand holding his. “That’s okay. Stay there as long as you need. I’m here.”
Freddie squeezed again, then tucked himself in tighter. Damon’s arms tightened briefly, and Freddie allowed himself to let go of everything again. When the time came for them to move, he would, but right now, he needed this.
Right now, his entire world circled around the man holding him.
And for once, Freddie didn’t fight himself about the thoughts that ran rampant in his mind. For once, he allowed his mind to imagine what life would be like if he chose what he’d been thinking more and more about lately.
What he’d been wanting more and more.
Damon.
****
Chapter 32
Patrick
If Patrick didn’t see a gun again in his lifetime, it would be too soon. He knew the guards needed to carry them, but the incident had tested his limits. How he’d managed to take down that guy, he’d never know, but all he could do was thank Kieren for having trained him as well as he had. He still needed a lot more to make it feel like he could do it, but obviously, something had imprinted on him for him to act without thinking.
They were staying within the safe room for a few more hours until Brett and those he trusted swept the estate. He wasn’t sure if the people who’d attacked them were the only ones involved in the attack or if there might be more around the estate hidden somewhere, but either way, they needed to check everything was clear before they resumed their normal Christmas activities. If they felt like they could, anyway.
Henry was shaken, unsurprisingly. The incident had brought back too many memories for him, and they’d taken a corner of the room, and Robert had pulled Henry into him and tucked his face into his neck. Everyone had left them alone. Robert would get Henry back to his usual self as quickly as he could, but Henry needed time to recuperate.
As they all did. No one had expected an attack like what had been orchestrated, and they were all a little shaken.
Freddie had retreated into himself, which was a shock. Seeing him curled in Damon’s lap, however much hidden behind the filing cabinet at the back of the room, while Damon looked wrecked had gone a long way to worrying Patrick until Damon had given him a small thumbs up. He’d never seen Freddie like that before.
Kieren had gone out with Brett and the others, and Patrick wanted nothing more than to keep in contact with him, but they’d requested phone silence, understandably. It didn’t help Patrick’s nerves, though.
What did Charlotte think she’d accomplish? Because it had to be her. No one else would’ve reacted to the message Andrew had left for her when they first arrived at Sandringham. Not with brutal force, anyway.
“Patrick?”
He turned to Uncle Andrew and tried for a smile. “How are you doing?”
“Well, the ticker’s still going. I count that as a win,” he said with a soft chuckle. The strain of the event was visible in the depth of the lines on his face and the rounding of his shoulders. The strong king was feeling the pain of betrayal, and Patrick wished there was something he could do to help.
“Definitely a win,” he murmured. “Plus, she didn’t succeed in whatever she was trying to do.” He didn’t mention the act of treason and how she had likely signed her death warrant through the assassination attempt. It all came down to whether they could prove it.
