Page 42 of Chula
“I know it is, and I don’t know how to stop that.”
“She won’t get him back. Not running with a crew,” Damion says. I shift a little in my seat because I know that dig was for me.
“She isn’t crew.”
“She’s with you, Marco. That’s all they need to know.”
“What do you want me to do? Leave her?”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Marco. You were smart, man. You could have done something with your life. Art was your passion back then. Where’s that passion now?” he asks me. I shake my head and look down at Luna in my arms. She deserves more than me, but I can’t let her go.
“That night she killed him … it fucking killed me too, Damion. I walked in and there they were. I knew what she did. I knew, and there was nothing I could do about it,” I tell him truthfully for the first time since we stopped talking back then. I’ve missed my brother. I’ve missed talking to him and just having him around, but back then, we chose two different paths in life.
“I get it, Marco. I do because it kills me every fucking day they aren’t here. It fucking kills me that you’re not here,” he admits.
“This is all my life has consisted of. I’ve never known anything but being crew, Damion.”
“You think it wasn’t hard for me? It was. I wanted to go back so many times. I wanted to take the easy way out, but I didn’t. I fought and I fought hard, Marco. I’m not saying leaving it all behind is easy. It’s not. I’m proof of that, but don’t you want better for her?” he says, nodding at Luna. I look down at her, and I can’t imagine not having her by my side. I can’t imagine not having her in my arms.
“You know I can’t afford it,” I tell him.
“You don’t have to. Come work for me, Marco. Just like Luna. I’ll pay you well, and you can save that up.”
“And the guys? I just leave them behind? I can’t do that. I took a vow when I made crew, Damion.”
“We all did! But what’s more important? Them or her? Is she worth changing your life for? Is she worth giving more?”
“She deserves the world, Damion. After what she’s been through and the things she’s done, she deserves everything.”
“And you don’t?”
“I don’t fucking know anymore. At one point, I thought so, but it’s been years, man. Years I’ve been this way.”
“You do deserve more, Marco.”
I shake my head. I don’t know what I deserve anymore. Maybe this is what my life is supposed to be. Maybe this is what I’m supposed to be.
“I know for a fact that she does,” I say, nodding toward Luna. She stirs and her eyes open and lock with mine before they fill with tears again. I lean down and press my lips to hers, and she lets me kiss her. When I pull back, I smile at her.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I tell her.
“How? How is it okay, Marco? He’s gone. He was all I had.”
“He wasn’t all you had, Chula. You have me. You’ve had me from the day I laid eyes on you.”
“I love you.” Her words cause my chest to clench. Hearing them leave her lips is everything to me. It means everything to me.
“I love you too.” The tears stop as she gazes up at me. She lifts her arms and wraps them around my neck, pulling me as close as she can get me, and I let her. I know she needs this right now, and I’m going to give it to her.
“I’m happy for you two,” Damion says, breaking the moment. Luna pulls back and climbs up, sitting next to me on the couch, but never letting go of my hand.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispers.
“Nothing. Nothing needs to be said, Luna. I can see the love you have for my brother. I’ve seen the things you’ve done for him. I’m glad he has someone like you,” Damion tells her. I’ve never heard him talk like that about anyone, so hearing it now is sort of a shock. It’s not that Damion and I hate each other; we just chose different paths in life.
“He wants me to work for him,” I tell Luna. She looks from Damion to me and back before she smiles.
“Really?”
